My Best Friend's Wedding
by ImJudyGarland
Summary: Nick and Jess have known each other for eight years. They've been friends, then lovers, and now best friends. After being so close for so many years, Nick is suddenly getting married? A story of the gang several years down the road. Where did they all end up? And how is Jess gonna deal with the news of her best friend's wedding?
1. Chapter 1

**I know I just started another story, but this one's been rolling around in my head for a while. I just wanted to put it out there and gauge interest before I dove into this one. It's gonna be more involved and a lot of work to develop. What do you think? Review!**

Jess fell backwards onto her floral duvet, clutching her chest and trying to breathe.

"Jess? Jess, are you there? Helloooo?" Nick's voice faintly floated up from the cell that was threatening to slip out of her slackened hand. "Jessica? Hey!" She flinched at his raised tone and shakily brought the phone back up to her ear.

"Uh, sorry. Sorry Nick. I'm here." Jess tried to even out her voice so he wouldn't notice the trembling. "Um, soooo. You're getting married? Wow. That's just, you know, so great. I can't believe it." She attempted a small giggle that she couldn't quite sell. But Nick didn't seem to notice.

Jess lay sprawled on her bed dramatically at the news. _Nick is getting married? Married?!_

She was in full on shock. Over the last eight years, she and Nick had gotten so close. Since their break up, which felt like the end of her world at the time, they had grown even closer. Just friends, yes, but _best friends_. They spent a lot of time together, talking about their lives, giving each other advice on jobs, family, relationships, everything.

The connection they formed while living in the loft those four years made their bond that much stronger. And in the four years since they both moved out and moved on, no matter what was going on in their lives, they stayed best friends. A day didn't go by where they weren't meeting up for lunch or having a drink at the bar. And during their most busy times, phone calls and texts kept them in constant contact. They were each other's lifelines.

After landing the vice principal job at her school, Jess had found more and more that she enjoyed not only teaching, but leadership and decision making in the education realm. She decided to go back to school and get her PhD in Education, which eventually led to a job as a college professor, and now at the young age of 38, she was the Head of the Education Department at UCLA. She taught bright-eyed young people how to become teachers. It was several years of hard work getting there, but Nick encouraged her every step of the way, giving her the confidence she needed to get this far.

And after so many years of depending on him to be her sounding board, her champion, now it felt like all of that was about to suddenly disappear.

"I know, right? Me getting married! I bet you never thought that would ever happen, huh?" Nick cracked up, his voice so light and full of..._joy ? _that she may not have recognized it if she hadn't known it was him.

"No, no I didn't. So, uh, yeah. How?" Her voice broke and she coughed quickly, then forced out a more convincing laugh. "I mean, I haven't seen you for a while, several weeks, which is not my favorite thing, you know. I know we've had those random texts and 3am phone calls but I guess i just...I just never knew you guys were, like, dating."

"Neither did I, to be honest. I mean, you know Taya. Whenever she's in a room, it's a complete takeover, but in the most positive way. And she's been so great, getting me out there and into the book world."

Taya Collins was a perky, powerhouse of energy and pep. She was a book publicist at Zane Publishing House. Nick stuck with his zombie novel idea and after many revisions, had gotten the attention of one of the editors at Zane. Thus,_ Z is For Zombie _not only saw the light of day, but gained citywide, then national attention, all thanks the the recent TWD phenomenon, and Taya's persistent drive to make sure everyone in America heard the name Nick Miller. He had already been working on the sequel when this most recent national book tour took him away for several weeks. Jess was crazy proud whenever she saw an ad for his novel in a magazine, or scrolling through Twitter. Taya had even managed to land him a couple of high profile tv interviews. There was no denying all that she had done for him professionally.

"Of course, Taya's been awesome. All that she's done for your books is pretty amazing. But you never gave me the impression that you were, ahhh...interested, I guess."

"To be honest, I didn't know it myself. We've been on this tour for almost six weeks, and at first, we were just, you know, booking interviews and signings and traveling all over the country. We got to be good friends, and then with all of the time we've been spending together, I don't know, things just _happened_."

"Wow. So six weeks and getting married? That's fast!" Jess screeched out the last words without meaning to.

"Yeah, it is. But it just feels right, you know?" Nick sounded like nothing but pure hope and possibility. Jess had heard that Nick-voice before. The night they drove away from a non-wedding. Together. The memory stung, and she pushed it aside for the moment.

"Well, man. That's fantastic Nick. I'm so happy for you, really. So, when is this wedding going to take place?"

"Two weeks."

Jess sat bolt upright in bed, pulling a muscle in the back of her neck as she whipped her head up with her stunned body. "Two weeks?!"

"Yeah! A week from Saturday. I know, it sounds crazy, but it just sort of worked out this way. So, tomorrow, you're home in the afternoon right? I'll meet you at your house after you're done with classes, and you can catch me up more on you, and we'll talk about all the wedding stuff then, okay?"

"Yeah. Yeah, that'll be good. My last class is over at one thirty tomorrow, so you wanna meet at my place then?"

"Yeah, I'll bring some lunch. Sound good?"

"Yep. Yeah. Good. See ya then." Jess started to hang up.

"Hey, Jess? Are you okay? You sound a little, I don't know, not like yourself. Everything alright?" Nick's voice held concern.

"Me? No, I'm fine. You know me, I've been working a lot. Just tired I guess." Jess held her breath and hoped he wouldn't press further, her emotional state not prepared to handle any prodding right now. She'd surely lose it if she didn't hang up soon.

"Okay. Well, we'll talk more tomorrow. Bye, Jess."

"Bye, Nick."

Jess pressed_ End _on her cell and laid back down carefully, favoring her slightly injured neck muscles.

_How am I gonna handle this? Nick married? _She knew Nick Miller better than anyone in the world, but she just didn't see this one coming. True, he had always been a romantic at heart, wanting so bad to love and be loved. But things had just never worked out that well for him in that department. Caroline was the most obvious relationship train-wreck. Then Julia and Angie with their commitment quirks and phobias. So when she and Nick finally managed to give their long simmering chemistry a real shot, she really thought they had a chance.

But she got scared, and he went along with it and now here they were. She had always been the woman in his life. Yeah, he dated off and on, but he just never quite managed to make it past the third date mark. By the time he reached that stage with someone, it just made him realize that he would rather be home with Jess watching a crappy chick flick, eating Chinese dumplings and drinking and laughing into the late hours of the night.

Jess was so focused on her career that she had only had a handful of dates and odd online dating site encounters over the last few years. Her job was her joy, and she just figured she would get to all the serious relationship stuff later.

But now that Nick was getting married, something inside of her felt _hollow_. Lonely. It felt suspiciously familiar to that one night many years ago when they met together in the loft hallway for the last time as lovers. As she held him close, she felt like everything good in her life was suddenly slipping away from her. So quickly.

She would have to find someway to be there for Nick without letting her emotions get control of her. She was happy for him, really. She wanted him to find love, to be loved. They didn't make it work between them, but he deserved the chance to find happiness with someone else. She would do whatever it took to make sure Nick had that chance.

Jess reached over and turned out her bedside lamp, then curled up on her side. Tucking her knees up close to her chest, she allowed her fragile emotions to finally take over. She cried quietly into her pillow until she fell asleep in darkened room.


	2. Chapter 2

**So what do you guys think so far? If you get a minute, please review. Even if you don't have a FF account, you can review as guest It is really such a HUGE motivator to keep going when you know people are reading and enjoying the story. I'm really enjoying writing it!**

Jess sat nervously sipping on her second pink wine at their usual table at Nick's bar. She had an impromtu meeting with the Dean at the college that afternoon, so Nick told her they'd just meet up at the bar that night. Jess was secretly glad for a little extra time to get her head around everything they were about to get into. _A wedding. They were going to discuss Nick's wedding. _Jess leaned back in the booth and closed her eyes, draining the remaining contents of her glass.

After Nick's first hefty royalty check from_ Z is for Zombie_, he had bought the bar from Clyde and made it his own. He didn't really change much, just added a few more beer options and a few tvs for sports viewing. Nick hired a replacement for himself, and promoted Big Bob to manager, so he would have more time to write. Ironically, he had wound up spending more time at bar than he thought when writer's block on the_ Z _sequel had him stumped. But that all changed when Taya set up the book tour, and he had been gone for over a month, leaving the bar in Bob's capable hands for the time being.

Jess knew the bar was where his heart was. He had bartended since college, and it was the first thing that he was ever really good at. Owning his own business was a dream he didn't think he'd ever see happen, not counting Ten Year anniversary Port-a-Pottys. Never one to take chances, Nick had hesitated at first. What if he couldn't handle that much responsibility? What if he messed it up and the bar went under? Jess had reminded him he had to follow his bliss, and if he failed, so what? Life was too short not to take a chance on something you really want.

The irony of that advice was not lost on Jess now as she wrapped her hands around her third glass of wine, avoiding Bob's look of concern as he placed in on the table in front of her.

_What do you really want, Jess?_ It was a question she had been subconsciouly asking herself since Nick delivered his insane news. _Insane! This was insane. That's the exact correct word for what is happening right now. Nick barely knows this girl. Yes, GIRL. She couldn't be a day over twenty five. _How had she glossed over that little tidbit? This was practically a Tom Cruise/Katie Holmes situation here. Jess bit the inside of her cheek hard at the thought of them together. _How can he be marrying someone so young? And perky? And so_..._not me_?

That last thought took her by surprise. Yeah, the thought of her and Nick getting together again one day had crossed her mind from time to time. But she had always thought it would be of the spontaneous, drunken one-night stand variety. The idea of trying to restart a relationship with Nick scared the hell out of her. He was literally her best friend in the world. She needed him. How could she ever risk what they had just because he occasionally gave her _wowsers in her trousers_? Jess giggled at the phrase, saying it over a couple of times outloud. _Yep, that third glass was definitely a mistake_.

"Hmm, somebody gotta have it?" Nick stood at the edge of the booth, grinning widely. Jess scooted out and threw herself into Nick's giant bear hug. He felt so sturdy and warm. And firm. _Had he been working out?_ Jess let out a puff of laughter at the thought. _Nick working out, yeah, and then he'll start hiring plumbers and eating blueberries._

Jess pulled back and smiled at him, her hands on his enlarged biceps. "What is wrong with your arms? They're, like, bigger."

Nick reached a hand up to his shoulder, squeezing it hard. "Taya is all into fitness and kept dragging me to the gym at every hotel where we stayed. Made me feel like a creep just sitting there watching people do stuff, so I've actually been doing some weights." He paused at her skeptical look. "I know, don't say it. It's not like I'm suddenly gluten free or vegan. Although it's not like she hasn't tried."

Jess ignored the burning sensation in her gut, sliding back into the booth, followed by Nick. Bob brought him a beer and chatted with him for a minute while she composed herself._ Nick hates diets, and exercise, and basically anything physical. How is her influence on him so weighty so quickly? Get a grip, Jess._

Nick took her wrist and squeezed gently, "Man, I missed you! So what have you been up to? I mean, aside from your head start on the drinks?" He eyed her empty glass. _Damn, he knows me._

She squelched a hiccup, and rested her hand on his. She had missed him too. Phone calls and texts just weren't enough. "It's Friday night, Nick. And you said it, drinking to be cool IS a thing."

Nick laughed out loud, "Yeah, it is! But maybe we'll have Bob bring you a water next, huh?"

Jess felt a slight sense of loss as he moved his hand back over to his drink, taking several large swallows. He smiled at her raised eyebrow, "I told you, I gotta catch up."

Jess rested her eyes on his clean shaven face. She couldn't remember the last time Nick wasn't sporting some kind of facial hair. Before the tour he had had an impressive three month beard that Jess actually really loved on him. Very gritty and masculine. _Guess Taya's cup of perpetual influence runneth over?_

"So, how are you handling all of this? I mean, a wedding, in two weeks? How are you not waist deep in Nick Miller freak out waters by now?" Jess watched him carefully for signs of doubt, frustrated that none had appeared so far.

"I don't know, Jess. I'm just...happy. That's all I can tell you. I've been dealing with all of this book stuff and I've been loving it. I really didn't think anyone would wanna publish_ Z_, let alone making best-seller. And Taya made it happen. I owe her so much, really. So, we ate a lot of meals together, which eventually started to feel like dates. Then, well, you know, physical things started happening..."

Jess yelped, "Whoa! Stop right there. You started doing it, I get it. Unwanted image fully implanted in my brain now. Moving on. So, that translated into getting married?"

Nick looked at her for a few minutes before answering, a tiny crack in the fascade finally appearing. "Uh, yeah. I mean, she asked me, and it just all seemed to fall into place, you know?"

"She asked you?"

Nick looked a little uncomfortable, "Yeah, last week, before the tour ended. We both realized we were really bummed that we wouldn't be seeing each other as much, and the more we talked, it just kind of led to the topic of moving in, which led to Hey, why don't we get married?"

Jess laughed under her breath, in utter disbelief._ I can't believe what I'm hearing. After a whirlwind book-tour romance, Nick is suddenly ready to jump into a lifelong commitment with this person? _This girl who, only a few short years ago, sounded just a little bit like Jess. Bright eyed, idealistic, ready to see what the world had to offer. Minus the heavy self-confidence, work outs and strange foods, it was starting to feel like Nick was about to hitch himself to Jess 2.0.

"Jess, I need to know what you think about all this. I know, it's fast, and sounds a little looney toons. I need you to give me some perspective here. Is this...getting married...is this a good idea?"

Jess looked down at her water, pulling her top lip between her teeth in a desperate attempt not to scream outloud, "No, you idiot! This is a terrible idea!"

But she found herself looking up into his hopeful brown eyes and saying, "Yeah. If that's what you want. If this is what's gonna make you happy, then yes, I think you should do it."

Nick narrowed his eyes, focusing in on her more closely, "That's what you think?"

Jess held his gaze, nodding gently, then looked down at her hands, clasping them together to stop the shaking.

Nick took a second beer from Bob and quickly drank half before sighing deeply and setting the mug on the table soundly. "So, I talked to Schmidt today, and he and CeCe will be back in town this weekend. He said CeCe would be calling you to see if we could all hang at your house tomorrow. I saw Winston this afternoon, and he said he'd be there too. What do you think about dinner? Taya is really excited to meet everybody. She wants to get a bunch of groceries and cook for everybody. Since her apartment is so tiny, I thought your house would work out better. That ok?"

Jess would never normally care if everyone hung out at her house on the spur of the moment. It was rare that everybody was in town and available at the same time. But the thought of Nick volunteering her house and her kitchen to this girl kind of grated on her nerves. She forced a smile up at him, "Sure, that's fine. It'll be a good chance for all of us to get to know Taya better."

"Absolutely. And then we can come up with a game plan for next week. Although Taya is already in wedding planning heaven. I'm getting way to many texts about what color tablecloths we want, and how many of her extremely large family to put in the wedding party."

Jess felt nausea taking over already._ It could just be the wine. Yeah, that's it. The wine._


	3. Chapter 3

Jess pulled up her brick driveway, turned off the ignition and just sat still for the first time all day. The digital clock on her dash read 6:23. She had been nonstop since 7am, with classes and department meetings and student career counseling sessions. She knew she needed to be out by at least 6pm to beat the guys, and more importantly Taya, to her house before she got there and started setting up shop in her kitchen.

She leaned back in her seat and sighed, letting the daisies on her front stoop try and cheer her up. Still couldn't believe her luck that she had been able to afford such a cool house. An English style cottage that had been built in the 50's, it seemed quaint and small from the outside, but actually boasted more space that it appeared. Inside were sweeping wood beamed ceilings, hardwood floors, handcrafted built-ins, and her favorite feature, a cozy brick fireplace at the corner of her living room. Her L.A. mortgage was steep, but her well paying position as department Chair at the college was enough to pay for that, a nice wardrobe allowance, and a fairly comfortable life.

She had a good life. A career that she loved, that she had worked hard for. Beautiful home. Amazing friends. She had everything that anyone could want, but one thing. She always knew that she wanted love, and a family someday. She just figured that when the time was right, it would happen. She had spent so much time building a life that she didn't leave room any room for love in it.

_Stop it, Jess. None of this bothered you before you found out about Nick._

Great, now her own brain was calling her out. It's true, she had been going about business-as-usual for years without feeling any real urgency in her love life. But she had Nick. Whether she admitted it or not, he was the reason she hadn't felt the need to attach herself to anyone. There hadn't been anything romantic between them in five years, but looking back now, she could see that Nick had become what he had aptly described to her years ago. Her _boyfriend without the rewards_.

Well, if that was true, then she was his post-sexual girlfriend. When they weren't working, they were at each other's houses, or hanging at the bar or talking on the phone during their evening downtime. They texted constantly and Christmas/Birthday shopped together. Nick took care of Jess after she had her wisdom teeth removed, and Jess rushed Nick to the hospital and stayed with him at his postage-stamp sized apartment for a week after his appendectomy. Jess even went home with him to Jamie's wedding in Chicago after Jamie finally won enough money in the state lottery for that open-bar reception of his dreams.

Everyone Nick and Jess knew had stopped asking years ago when _they_ were finally gonna get married and settle down. They had been together as best friends for so long by now, it stopped being weird and just felt like it had always been this way. Not counting that one hot year in the loft where they fought a lot and doinked constantly. In those early days, whenever she felt a little bit..._twirly_, that year sat in the back of her mind waiting to be replayed on those rare lonely nights alone in her bubble bath. Because the truth was, with Nick, it was good. _Very_ good.

But those nights became fewer and further between. And the closer they became as friends, the more dangerous it felt to remember how good it was between them for a while. And now, they were the closest they had ever been. Jess felt like she was about to lose him, and tried her damnedest to describe her current emotion as anything less than panic. She had allowed Nick to weave himself so tightly into her life, she couldn't conceive of a life without him in it.

She didn't know what to do. How could she let Nick just marry someone else? But how could she stop him, if that is what was truly going to make him happy? She felt the air in the car start to feel thin. She began breathing faster, her lungs closing up. Her heart felt like it was going to beat out of her chest. Gasping for air, she grabbed the door handle and yanked it down, pushing the door open with her feet. She leaned over the edge of the drivers seat, her head in her lap, feeling like she was dying.

"Jess? Oh my god, Jess! Are you okay?" CeCe slammed her car door behind her and rushed over to her as quick as her pregnant body would get her there.

Jess looked up and locked eyes with her, gulping as much air as her lungs would take in. "I'm okay...I'm alright, CeCe, I just...had a little...panic attack. Just let me sit here a minute."

CeCe's eyes were wide as she studied Jess' face. She sat down in the driveway next to her and took her hand, waiting for the moment to pass. Finally, Jess began to calm down, and her breathing began to return to normal.

"You okay, babe?" CeCe's spoke softly.

"Yeah. I'm better now. I'm good. Let's go inside okay?"

"Yeah, come on, oh! Crap! I don't know if I can get up from this angle." CeCe raised her eyebrows and Jess laughed shakily. CeCe managed to get her six month-pregnant body up from her crouched position and they helped each other into the house.

Both collapsed onto the couch, taking deep breaths and laughing again at each other. CeCe ran her hands down the fabric of her maxi dress, and rested them on her prominent belly. "Seriously, though, Jess. I'm worried about you. You've been working too hard lately. Is that why you're having panic attacks in your driveway. Or is this about...?"

Jess gave her an innocent look, "About...?"

"Nick. _Nick_, Jess. I'm sorry I've been so busy with work lately, I haven't been there for you like I should. I know how hard this must be on you." CeCe leaned up and put a chintz pillow behind her back and relaxed against it, "Uhhh, that feels better."

"Ceece, it's okay. You and Schmidt are working hard and getting things ready for the baby. I don't expect you to be available 24/7. You've got responsibilities. And I'm fine, really. Work has been ridiculous this last couple weeks. It was just...a moment of weakness."

CeCe and Schmidt were pharmaceutical reps. They traveled together as a team across the state selling high end G.I. drugs to high earning gastroenterologists. They both possessed the exact skills a career like this required: flawlessly beautiful humans who know how to schmooze doctors, but also have some smarts for the technical/chemical aspects. It was the perfect life for them both. They had been living together for the last three years, and it worked for them. Now that CeCe was having a baby, the discussion of marriage had come up once or twice, but they both always came to the same conclusion._ If it ain't broke, don't fix it._

"Jess, spill. You know my instincts where love is concerned. This is not about your job." She reached over and took Jess' shaky hand, waiting.

"Okay. You're right. I'm not okay with this. I'm awful with this. I am straight up FREAKING OUT about this!" Jess covered her eyes with her left hand and groaned.

"I know. The question is, what are you gonna do about it?" CeCe waited til she met her calm gaze.

"What do you mean, Ceece, what CAN I do? Nick is in love. He wants to marry this girl. How can I do anything about that?" Jess sighed heavily, frustration beginning to take over again.

"Nick in love? With Peppy Le Screw? One book deal and six weeks of bed gymnastics equals love? Yeah, not buying it."

"Of course he loves her Cece. Why would he agree to marry someone he doesn't love?" Jess pinched the bridge of her nose, willing the moisture in her eyes to stay put.

"Because he can't marry someone he does."

Jess paused, "What?"

"You heard me, Jess. Look, we've talked about all this before. It's always been inevitable that you two were going to end up together. When you guys broke up, it was basically your idea. You freaked out, and said you wanted to end things. And Nick, who will do anything to please you, went along with it. But it's not what he really wanted. He's been into you for eight years, Jess. You know I'm right."

"No, CeCe, I don't. Yeah, when we were together, he did tell me he had a love at first sight...type...thing. But that's doesn't mean he's _in_ love with me now."

CeCe pressed her lips together tightly and hummed in mock agreement. "Sure. Sure, Jess. He doesn't love you. He just spends almost every day with you, taking you grocery shopping, buying you flowers when you're down. Surprising you with concert tickets to bands you know he hates. Getting drunk and falling asleep with you in the gazebo at the park."

"The gazebo thing was one night, Ceece. And everything you described is all stuff that friends do."

CeCe huffed, "Ha, yeah? Well I'm not going to any Gotyee shows with you, no matter how good of friends we are. Admit it, Jess. You guys are so close, you're like one person. And now this little PR slut comes along, and she's gonna ruin everything."

"No. CeCe, don't do this, okay? This is hard enough for me. Nick and me, we are...we're...friends._ Best _friends, but FRIENDS, alright? I'm just tired and I let my emotions get out of control without thinking. But I need you to stay positive. Can you do that?"

"Yes. Fine. I'll tell you that you're gonna be fine and that Nick is still gonna be your friend, so you don't have to worry. Is that what you wanna hear?"

"Yes, it is. I can't sit here and think about Nick not coming over as much, and not responding to my texts until the next morning, and not being there waiting with a pizza and a bottle of pink wine when I get home on a Friday night."

CeCe put a sympathetic hand on her shoulder, "Okay, I'm sorry. You're right. I'll stop. You know I love you and I'm just trying to help."

Jess leaned her head on CeCe's shoulder, "I know. You're an amazing friend, Ceece. You've always had my back. And I really, really need you to have it now."

CeCe grabbed Jess' hand and squeezed. "You got it, babe. And I'll be a perfect angel to little Tanya tonight."

Jess giggled, "It's Taya."

CeCe smiled innocently, "Right. Taya. That's what I said."


	4. Chapter 4

**Super long chapter! I couldn't stop adding. Let me know your thoughts. Review! :)**

"So Jess, what about this girl? You met her, right?"

Schmidt joined Jess, CeCe and Winston around the table on Jess' backyard patio. He sat a bottle of sparkling water in front of CeCe, then sat down next to her, taking possession of her hand as he talked. Jess thought it was sweet how focused Schmidt was lately, especially the closer the birth of their baby came.

When the opportunity to change careers presented itself three years ago, Schmidt did his homework. Calculating earning capabilities and weighing advancement opportunities between a marketing executive and a pharmaceutical rep, he came to the conclusion that it was basically a lateral move. But when he factored in CeCe, there was no comparison. He had loved her for so long, that the idea of working with her side by side, six days a week was the exact_ in _that he had been waiting for. Yes, he was still _Schmidt_, but he proved to her he was capable of something real, something that lasts. CeCe was his number one, and they had never been stronger.

Jess loved the outdoors and spent a lot of time in her backyard haven. Her distressed Hawthorne table and chair set was accented by a simple glass jar centerpiece of wildflowers from her yard. Weathered iron lanterns hung randomly along the patio, creating a cozy, shadowy glow. A stone path led back to a small inground pool with floating flower lights that gave the backyard an enchanted feel at night.

Jess sat her iced tea in front of her, playing with the bright pink straw. "Uh, no, actually I haven't met her yet. Nick's meetings with her have always been at Zane. And their, um, well...they didn't get together until the book tour, so I really never got the chance."

"And? How are we feeling about tonight? Are you ready for all of this?" Schmidt's pushed out his bottom lip sympathetically.

Jess looked down into her glass, stirring her straw in circles, trying to dissolve any remaining grains of sugar along the bottom. "Don't, Schmidt. She's done nothing but good things for Nick. She's his fiancee, and I am incredibly happy for him. Nick thinks she's great, and I'm sure we'll all agree." She delivered the half-hearted speech with a tone of finality, hoping he wouldn't press further.

Winston held up his fourth beer bottle to her, "Well I, for one, think _you_ are pretty great Jess. I mean, you basically took on Nick-duty from the rest of us years ago. Now you got a chance to pass him along to someone else. You deserve your break, honey."

Winston was currently working at the San Diego Police Department. After four years as Community Relations officer, he was still trying to make Sergeant, but just hadn't found that one case that would put him over the top quite yet. But he loved his job, and did his best to protect a community that he had gotten very attached to since he got hired on there. He took his work seriously, but to the loft crew he was the same loveable Winston who loved puzzles and his ten year old sidekick, Ferguson.

Jess rolled her eyes and laughed under her breath, "Not trying to _pass him along_, Winston, don't need _a break_, and you really need to slow up on the alcohol, or you're gonna be spouting off this and even weirder stuff all night."

Winston lazily shrugged, "Well, if they'd get here and get the food going already, I just might be able to hold my liquor a little longer, Jessica. Where are they, anyways?"

Schmidt added, "Yeah, I thought this chick was supposed to be like a multi-tasking Kelly Ripa. Kinda surprised she wasn't already here and _Rip_pin up your kitchen long before you got home. I bet she's also got a complete Electrolux kitchen at her place. All she's missing now is the morning talk show, the latin husband and the two point five kids. Guess she's 0 for 3 on that. "

Jess checked her cell again. It had been an hour since Nick said they'd be there. He had texted her that Taya got caught up with a client and they were running late. Her phone chirped with _Link's item get,_ a call back to her pre-teen obsession with _The Legend of Zelda_. Nick had gotten her a classic NES on Ebay for Christmas two years ago. It had been a while since they had done a marathon all-nighter. Once she started playing, she was eleven years old again, and that was the one game where she easily outmatched Nick's gaming skills

We're around the corner, be there in two.

Jess got up and did a nervous little hop in place, "They're almost here. Okay, listen guys, can we please try and keep the drinks and the weirdo commentary to a minimum?" They all gave her the same look of _who are you talking to here, you're very cute but that's not gonna happen._

Jess practically ran through the house to the front door, swinging it open and making it out front just as they pulled up her driveway in Taya's silver Prius.

Jess took a deep breath, wringing her hands together tightly at her waist. _It's okay, Jess. You're okay. Just breathe. _

Taya slammed her car door shut and ran straight to Jess, throwing her arms around her and squeezing so tight, Jess stopped breathing for a second.

"Jess! Oh my goodness, I can't believe it has taken so long for us to meet! With Nick it's always_ Jess said this and Jess did that_, I feel like I know you already. I've always wanted a sister, and now I'm about to get one. Isn't this amazing!"

Jess just stood there in mild shock, while Taya rapidly prattled on. Nick had talked about Taya's_ exuberance _several times before, but nothing had prepared her for this deceptively petite, high on life version of Nick's future wife. She caught Nick out of the corner of her eye, coming up the driveway, loaded down with grocery bags. He smiled and winked at her, his usual move when he was trying to get her to relax about something.

Jess shook herself out of her stupor and did her best attempt at her usual hospitality. "So nice to finally meet you, Taya. Welcome to my home. Here, let me help you guys with the bags." She tried to pull out of Taya's embrace, but it was vice-like, and she wasn't going anywhere.

"Oh, honey, Nick's got it. Don't worry. I finally got him to start working out a little. He's getting to be a big strappin fella now, aren't ya Nicky?"

Taya released her grip on Jess in time for Nick to slide past them. As he walked by he made eye contact with Jess again, trying to get her reaction to Taya's bombastic greeting. She knew he'd be able to read her easily, so she avoided his eye, focusing back on Taya. "Well, uh, why don't we go on in? Everyone else is out back."

Jess followed behind Taya, who practically bounced into the house, a ball of energy. Taya was slim and toned, with honey blonde hair that rested just against the shoulders of her grey Ann Taylor pantsuit. _When did shoulder pads start being a thing again?_

They followed Nick to the kitchen where he dropped the multitude of bags on the island counter with a loud grunt. "Ughhh. How can food be so damned heavy?" Taya scrunched up her nose and giggle snorted, playfully swatting Nick's shoulder. "Ooh, I love it when you get all grumpy!" _Damn it, she's cute. Digustingly cute. _

Cece, Winston and Schmidt had made it inside and stood lined up against the kitchen counter, like the Von Trap children waiting for their introduction to Fraulein Maria.

Taya ran over and quickly hugged each of them with the same amount of vigor, pausing at CeCe to firmly pat her belly, "And look at you, momma, you look like you're ready to pop! It's so exciting you're about to have a baby. I can't wait to have one of my own." Taya winked at Nick, and CeCe's eyes widened and she gave Jess an _is she for real _look. "Well, I'm not, uh,_ poppin _yet. Still three months to go, so..."

Nick started unpacking the insane amount of groceries, while Taya refocused. "Now, Jess, honey, you are not to lift a finger. I know you've been working hard all week long and you need a break. So, let me get you a glass of wine, and you just take your sweet little self back outside and just relax, okay? I'm gonna do my very best not to completely destroy your kitchen while I get a little creative in here."

"That's really sweet of you, Taya, but are you sure I can't help?" She poured Jess a modest sized glass._ Yeah, momma's gonna need a LOT more of that red stuff._

"No, no, now this is my way of scoring some points with Nick's friends. I've been cooking since I was twelve, and I know a few tricks to get a man's taste buds up and jumping."

CeCe spoke lowly, "Ha, I bet you do." Jess shot her a warning glare, before reluctantly following everyone else back out the the patio.

She heard Taya shooing Nick at the same time, "Darlin, you too. Get out there and spend some time with your friends. You always say you never see each other enough." Jess saw Taya place a three second kiss on his lips before ducking her head down and almost running outside._ I didn't need to see that_.

Nick grabbed two beers from the fridge on his way outside. He let out a long breath and plopped down in a chair, taking several long swallows from the first bottle until it was gone, then starting in on the second. He eyed Jess as she down gingerly in the opposite chair, barely sipping her wine. "Jess, it's okay. You can relax. I know you don't like people taking over your kitchen. Just give her a chance, huh?"

Jess laughed nervously, pulling at the long sleeves of her red cashmere v neck sweater, then adjusting her black skirt over her tights. "Whaaat? What do you mean, Nick? Are you saying I have control issues in the kitchen?"

"Yep."

"Okay, fine. I wanna run in there right now and stir something, is that so wrong?" She crossed her arms tightly underneath her chest. Nick's eyes grazed over her cleavage for a split second before he raised them back up to her face, grinning at her discomfort.

"Yes. Give yourself a break. Let Taya do her thing. You're gonna love it, trust me. She's an amazing cook."

"Okay, okay. I'm calm. I'm cool. I'm the new Lorde album." She gave Nick small, almost convincing smile.

Schmidt grunted his approval, "Ahh, Lorde is fantastic! You got any of her stuff on here, Jess?" He repeatedly swiped the screen on Jess' iHome, looking for something to play.

"Uh, yeah, just her first one I think. I'm not sure how much of my music is gonna meet with your approval, Schmidt. Just put on something mellow."

Jess casually swept her eyes over Nick as she talked. He wore a black button down and black jeans and boots. His hair was it's usual tousled quiffy mess, and she noticed some stubble growing back into a pre-beard again. She watched him raise his beer to his lips, and suddenly had a flashback to the night of their first date. Nick's intense stare sizing her up as he slowly gargled, knowing exactly what it was doing to her.

Her stomach did a small flip and she hid a smile inside her glass. He looked good tonight. Very good. Like, _Hey Nick, can you come help me change a light bulb... in my bedroom_?

_Wait, what? Where did that come from?_

She still wasn't ready to admit to what CeCe had said about them, but there was no denying that _sometimes _attraction that had always simmered under the surface. She had just gotten really good at repressing it. She guessed he did the same, since she only got the occasional vibe from him. And even more so lately, with Taya taking center stage.

"So, Nick, I gotta say, man, I did not expect you to be the first one of us to get himself hitched." Winston slapped his arm and gave him a low-five.

Nick glanced at Jess, then back at Winston, "Yeah, well, one of us had to dive in sooner or later, right?"

Pure Heroine's_ Team _floated out of Jess' stereo speakers. "Well, Taya seems very, ah, energetic. And you look like you're getting yourself quite the work-out lately, Mr Biceps." Schmidt chuckled then winced when CeCe firmly smacked the side of his head. "Ouch?!"

CeCe glared at his wounded expression before turning back at Nick, "So, really, Nick, what do you need? We're all ready to help however we can. I still have my wedding planner from my almost-wedding to Shivrang. Cake sampling, venues, booze..."

"That's okay, CeCe, Taya's already been in full force planning this thing, it's basically all taken care of. Not sure how she managed to pull everything off in a week. There's like a million details that I had no idea about. And seriously, I never want to look at another seating chart in my life again. Her family is massive, and I don't know a one of them, and couldn't care less if cousin Jeannie sits next to her college roommate or her former coworker at the Dairy Queen in Odessa."

"So, she's from Texas. That explains the adorably hick accent. Did she go to school out here?" Schmidt was in fact finding mode. CeCe was already all set up to find fault with Taya for Jess' sake, so she allowed it, wanting more info on this rival to her best friend.

Nick gave him a look, "Yes, Schmidt, she has an accent. She grew up in Odessa. Taya's actually super smart. She graduated early at 16, then moved out here and stayed with her aunt while she went to school. Got her BA and her Masters in Strategic Public Relations. She took classes at the Annenberg School for Communication and Journalism and got some hands-on experience working with the on-campus public relations firm, TriSight there. Then she got snatched up by Zane right before she graduated."

CeCe whispered to Jess, "Damn, was that before or after her gig on _All My Children_?"

Jess smirked at her Ripa-ism. CeCe was more like Schmidt than she knew, but Jess never called her out on it.

"Well, quite the overachiever, huh?" Schmidt coughed abruptly as Taya came out balancing a large tray. Nick quickly jumped up to help her get it to the table without incident.

"Here's a few little hors d'oeuvrs to soak up some of that booze you all been drinkin. You gotta let me catch up! Jess, I hope you don't mind me helping myself to a drink?"

Jess stuttered out a reply, "Uh, no, Taya. Of course not, help yourself."

"Thanks sweetie! Okay, guys, chow down on those! They're Bean Stuffed Jalapenos with Salsa Roja. Got the recipe from The Vegan Experience website! Dinner will be about twenty more minutes."

Winston took three of "whatever those are again" and shoved them one by one in his mouth, "Yeah, let's_ chow down_...now that is...so, so hot..." He grabbed Jess' wine and started guzzling.

An hour later, after a dinner of Taya's vegan Vegetable Curry, which Jess actually thought was delicious, and her traditional english berry trifle for dessert, everyone sat around talking. Or listening mostly. Taya didn't seem to know how to shut up. She went on and on about Texas and California and earthquakes and Ebola while she daintily sipped on her second vodka & lime. Jess watched as Taya casually slid her hand over Nick's thigh. He caught Jess' eye, then shifted uncomfortably as Taya just kept right on talking.

"This has been such an amazing night! I've been so excited to meet ya'll. Nick never stops talking about the good old days when you used to share a loft together. Sounds positively barbaric, but fun! So, listen, we have a few pre-wedding events taking place this week, and we'd love to have y'all join in."

"Wow. Okay. What, uh, kind of events exactly?" Jess felt tired from Taya's mile-a-minute-mouth and started to zone out, not hearing her answer. But one thing was really bothering her. Okay, _several things _were really bothering her, but_ one _thing right now. If that's how she felt after one night around the girl, how did Nick deal with this for six long weeks? And then decide, _Hm, not enough, I want more. I want to spend all eternity with this person!_ Something just didn't add up. CeCe's words suddenly crossed her mind, that Nick was only marrying her because he couldn't have Jess.

But that was ridiculous, right? Who would marry someone that in any other circumstance they could barely tolerate, simply because the one they really wanted was not available?

And she knew Nick. Like the back of her hand or the sound of her own voice, she _knew him.  
><em>When she first moved into the loft, Nick was constantly irritated by her pep and her singing and her tendency to see the good in people, who he viewed as_ the worst_. But then he had later admitted to her that he had been in love with her all along. Is that what had happened with Taya? Love at first sight that took a while to emerge and grow into something more?

The idea of Nick feeling the same way about another woman made her sick to her stomach. What she and Nick had was special. Not something that just happens everyday. And the thought of Nick feeling like that about Taya was more than she could deal with right now.

"I need a refill, I'll be right back." Jess got up from the table and quickly made her way into the kitchen. She hastily poured herself a large glass of pink wine, then yanked open her dishwasher and rapidly started loading it, then forcefully shut the door and flipped the switch, starting it. She turned on her faucet full blast, grabbed the large glass casserole dish from dinner and began vigorously scrubbing it under the scalding hot water. She her hands felt like they were about to melt their way down the sink when she heard Nick behind her.

"Hey. You don't have to do that. I did kind of invite Taya over here, and it's only fair we should handle the cleanup. Here, give me the sponge. Jess...Jess!" Jess ignored him and kept scouring, her body shaking with what felt like another pre-panic episode.

Nick shut off the water and leaned over the sink, trying to get her to look at him. "Hey? Jess, what are you doing? Come on, look at me."

Jess dropped the sponge and grabbed the edge of the sink, taking a deep breath and steadying herself. "Nothing, Nick. I was just trying to get a jump on things here."

Nick turned her toward him, holding her forearms loosely, "Hey? Come on, it's me. I know when something's bothering you, Jess." He pulled her toward him and put his arms around her. She rested her head on his chest and breathed him in, instantly feelng more relaxed.

"We don't have to talk about it right now, if you don't want. But I know something's up. We haven't gotten to spend any real time together since I got home, but I want to. It's just that Taya has every minute of my life scheduled down the the minute for the next week. But for you, I'll make time."

Jess pulled back and let him take her hands in his, let him rub his thumbs across her smooth skin. Let herself feel the way she felt one loft-night many years ago, right after their first kiss. Lightheaded and a little disoriented. She took in a shallow breath before answering, "It's really nothing Nick. Work has just been running me into the ground this week and I'm super tired. That's all, really."

Nick narrowed his eyes, clearly not buying it. "Okay. For now. But we're gonna talk later. Just because I'm about to get married, I don't want that to affect _us_, alright?"

Jess nodded and moved aside, while Nick took over at the sink. Not affect us? How can Nick being married not affect us? What kind of a dream world was he living in? He was acting like nothing was changing, when _everything_ was about to change. How could he not see that?

If she didn't know him so well, she would be seriously doubting his intelligence right now. Nick was distrustful of authority, iCloud, internet service providers and certain farm animals. He had crazy government conspiracy theories and in truth had just as many odd quirks as Jess did. But he was not stupid. The man made it through law school and passed the bar. He wrote a best selling novel and ran a successful business.

_Why did we break up again?_ Her hazy mind was too fatigued to stop the question from arising, but also not insightful enough to produce any real sort of answer. She leaned against the counter and watched as he started hand drying the dishes he just washed. He had big hands, strong.

Something about watching him do domestic, everyday things with them, like dishes or wiping down the bar or assembling drinks, always made her feel safe. Then there were other things that he could do with his hands, things she had buried deep in her brain a long time ago, but were now starting to resurface along with old feelings that she didn't expect to be dealing with now.

But her emotional constitution was weakened lately, and she let her mind wander. Nick's I-can't-believe-it expression as they drove out of town after that first night they uncalled it. The intensity in his eyes as he followed her body down on the sand on a dusky Mexican beach. The way his mouth took possession of her lips like he owned them, they were _his_ now, and he was not giving them back.

She shook herself, trying to empty her head of these thoughts that were way beyond bad timing to be thinking about here, alone with Nick in the kitchen. She stopped when he turned and caught her eye. Nick put down the dish towel and leaned against the sink, and just looked at her. He didn't say anything, he just held her gaze, and an unnamed emotion sparked to life between them. The dishwasher whirred and the faint sound of music from outside, and they just watched each other. And for the first time in so very long, they both just _wondered._

Nick jumped at the sound of Taya's voice, "Nicky! Oh, there you are sweetie. Now, Jess, I told you before, we'd take care of getting things cleaned up!"  
>Jess held her breath a moment, then answered shakily, "Uh, it's alright, Taya. We already got things pretty well under control in here I think."<p>

Taya grabbed Nick's arm, squeezing it hard, then soundly kissed his cheek. "Well aren't you the sweetheart, helping out in the kitchen. You're gonna be the best darn husband ever. Isn't he just the sweetest thing, Jess?"

Jess crossed her arms and blinked rapidly, looking down, "Um, yeah. Of course. The best."


	5. Chapter 5

After Taya's third vodka lime and one last death-squeeze that Jess swore broke a couple of ribs, Nick delivered her to the passenger seat of the car, closing the door carefully. Taya crumpled her body sideways and quietly dozed off. Nick made his way back to Jess, sitting down next to her on her crowded stoop, grunting as he eased his frame in beside her.

"Uh, is she gonna be okay, Nick?" Jess' body was crushed next to his in the confined space. She tried to scoot closer to the railing, but it was no good. They had sat together in this very spot dozens of times before, Jess after a long day of classes & meetings, Nick after a day shift or an evening off, just sitting and talking. And sometimes not even talking. Sometimes just _being._ It's something that she may have taken for granted all these years. But not here, not now. Not anymore.

"Yeah, she'll be fine. She's not a drinker, I think she was just nervous tonight. I just need to get her home so she can sleep it off." Nick leaned his head against the railing, and let out a tired sigh.

Jess spoke a little breathlessly, "I was kinda surprised someone so drunk had enough upper body strength to strangle the stuffing out of me like she just did."

Nick huffed out a laugh. "Sorry about that. She's just been really excited to meet you. I talk about you a lot, I think I just built you up so much that she kind of went a little overboard, trying to be likable. That's Taya, though. High on life. Which I guess is kind of good for me, right? Gets me to focus more on being positive. Growing up. Getting my shit together."

Jess looked at him, surprised, "Nick...your shit is together. You're the one who finished a novel, a_ best selling _novel. You own a successful business that is thriving. That's all you, man. You did those things. Taya may have helped you later in the process with the book, but...how can you not see? You_ have _grown, Nick. So much in the last few years. "

Nick pressed his arm against hers, "I couldn't have done any of it without you, Jess. None of it. I never would've had to guts to even send_ Z _in the first time. I am, wherever_ this _is now, because of you. And I really need you now, _badly_, or I'm never gonna get through this week."

Jess turned and cautiously met his gaze, "Well, what do you need me to do? From everything Taya said, everything's done and on auto pilot."

"Are you kidding me? There's like a ton of things going on this week. I gotta get fitted for a tux, get a ring, go to a pre-rehearsal dinner brunch on Friday, then the rehearsal dinner that night."

"Whoa, whoa, wait a minute. You haven't gotten the ring yet?"

"Well, no, there hasn't been time. I have no idea about this stuff Jess, you have to go with me. And there's gonna be the bachelorette party, and I really_ really _need you to be at both of the dinners on Friday too. Taya's family is loaded, and you know how I am around rich people. _Bad_. I need you close by, just having you there will class me up by association."

_Bachlorette party? Ugh_. Jess hedged, "Nick, I don't know. Don't you think having your ex-girlfriend so, uh, _handy_, might be a little uncomfortable for Taya?" Also, how was she going to deal with watching Nick with her. Especially around her family. If they were as buoyant as Taya, she was gonna have to have CeCe run some major interference.

Nick turned and grabbed her hand, "Look, Jess, Taya knows about us, okay? She knows we had something once, but...that was a long time ago. She knows you're my best friend, and she wants you to be a part of things. She knows this is important to me, and she is totally on board. I need you, Jess, _please_."

Jess let his soft brown eyes wear her down, like they always did, "Okay. Yeah, alright. I'm in."

Nick slid his hand around her neck and leaned an inch closer, placing a quick kiss to her temple, "Ah! Thank you so much, Jess. You're the best! Alright, I guess I need to go get Taya horizontal now."

Jess reared back, her eyes wide, speechless.

Nick paused then shook his head fast, "Uh, no no no NO. _That_ came out wrong and incredibly creepy. Get her horizontal for sleep, I mean. _Sleep_."

Jess laughed uncomfortably, "It's alright, I get it Nick."

~N/J~

Jess and CeCe spent all afternoon of the next day shopping for something to wear to the wedding, and Jess was worn out. Everytime she found a dress she liked, CeCe immediately shot it down. "Jess, this is your ex's wedding. Do you know how important it is that you pick the right dress? It has to be something not overtly slutty, but just hot enough to make Nick wanna get you all, what was his word, oh yeah,_ horizontal _again." She rolled her eyes then smiled brightly at Jess.

Jess had obviously filled her in on the night before with Nick. "Ooookay, are we done with that joke now? CeCe, come on. I'm tired. You found your dress two stores ago, and I almost just don't care anymore what I wear."

The college was on spring break this week, which was both good and bad. It gave her time to get a dress, do a morning at the salon and then do all the wedding crap that Nick was asking her to participate in. But it also gave her time to think, which was a not so welcomed benefit. Up until now, her life had been so busy that she had had little time to think about Nick and their past, and what might have been.

But for the last few days, when she woke up in the morning, she thought about Nick, and the way she used to wake up all wrapped up in his arms. She thought about how his strong hands slid around her from behind in the shower, pulling her body back into his, skimming her belly, making her shiver under the warm spray. The way he would lean in closer to her across the bar, taking her hand and meeting her eyes as he pressed an intentionally slow kiss against her knuckles.

But that was then. That was like a hundred years ago, right? But it didn't feel like a hundred years anymore. Her uncluttered mind was giving her space and time to relive all of these moments as if they had happened just yesterday.

And speaking of _space and time_, she had also started to remember how she used to obssess about his mouth in those early days of sexual tension and frustration. A whole other world waiting there whenever his lips touched hers. Their first kiss was the biggest surprise of her life. Like a damn fairy tale? Uh, yep! And Nick was there too, he knew the kind of mind blowing liplock that he had delivered. The way he brushed his nose gently against hers as they rested their foreheads together afterward. The sweet, slow little kisses he stole at the end.

"Jess! Holy Heisler, I think I found it!" CeCe held up a red strapless sweetheart dress. It was fitted in front with a faux-wrap bodice leading to a handful of gathers on the right hip, swirling into a very short chiffon skirt. Almost too short. "Oh yeah, we're trying this one on, right now babe." She grabbed Jess' hand and pulled her to the nearest dressing room, waiting outside while she changed.

Jess stepped out a few minutes later, and CeCe caught her breath. "Daaamn, Jessica Day. It's perfect! Turn around, oooooh my...that is going to _destroy_, girl. This is what I was talking about. Turn every head at that wedding...including the groom."

Jess stood in front of the tri-sectioned mirror near the entrance of the store, turning and looking at herself frontways and back. It was beautiful. The front hugged her chest, creating more than an ample amount of cleavage. The back of began just below her shoulder blades, exposing most of her back, and floated down in waves away from the top line. It was soft and flowy, and _sexy_. And it was also just_ so Jess_.

"CeCe, that is not going to happen! I am not trying to lure Nick away from his fiancee on his wedding day!" Jess whispered harshly in the semi-quiet boutique. An obscure Enya tune hovered in the background.

"Well, why not? He belongs with you Jess, not that poorly-recovered hick child. And he's gonna see that someday. He's gonna just turn around one day and realize, Jessica Day is my soulmate, and I never should have let her go."

"Whoa! Who let the dirty slut out of the sluthouse?" Schmidt stood at the front of the store next to a stunned, silent Nick. "We were just across the street picking out tuxes, which we all know Nick was woefully unprepared for. I think we finally came up with something that hides the formerly-broke, post-hobo man we all know and love."

Nick kept quiet, his eyes glued to Jess' body during Schmidt's entire speech. Jess' cheeks burned bright red at his open gawking as he slowly scanned her body up and down. CeCe noticed right away and had been watching as Schmidt rambled on. "That's great, hon. So, what do you think of Jess' dress, Nick?"

Nick's eyes continued their perusal, his voice scratchy and low, "It's, ah...it's really...you look amazing, Jess." He finally met her eyes and smiled like a little boy with his first crush.

"Off the hook, Jess. _Fo realz_. You wear that to the wedding and every single guy at the wedding will be all, what's your word again? Twirly?" Schmidt laughed and grabbed Nick's shoulder, yanking him back out the door with him, addressing CeCe on the way out, "We're on our way to the gym for some basketball with Winston and the other groomsmen. I'll be home with dinner by about eight, eight thirty max."

CeCe groaned good naturedly, then winked at him, "Just make sure you get me the _extra_ fries from _In n Out _on the way home, alright babe?"

Nick followed along behind Schmidt down the street, turning and catching a final lingering look at Jess as they passed the window.

CeCe swung around to Jess and grinned like Malificent, "Oh yeah. He's toast."


	6. Chapter 6

**Use of song lyrics here purely for entertainment purposes only. The Boardwalk 11 bar is real, by the way, and the Jimmy Kimmel part actually did happen IRL! Thanks for continuing to review, guys! It's a huge motivator to keep going :) **

"I don't know about this Schmidty."

The gang headed into_ Boardwalk 11 _Karaoke bar for Nick's bachelor party. They were doing it a few days early, since that was the only time everyone was available before the wedding. Nick had immediately shot down any suggestion of a strip club, dance club, basically anything _club _related.

"No, Schmidt, I'm not gonna _shake my thing _anywhere, ever. And Jess and CeCe will be there, so no on the naked ladies. I don't want see that look Jess gets where she's all _I'm seem totally cool with this but actually I'm ashamed that you are objectifying women in this way_. The same look she gets when she uses my laptop and I accidentally forgot to clear my browser history."

"Nick, it's every bachelor's rite of passage to one last _no hands-absolutely no hands _lap dance. You're gonna pass on that just because of Jess?" Schmidt hadn't even tried to hide his annoyance.

"Uh, how do I answer that..YES. Absolutely."

After about twenty minutes of arguing, Winston had gotten tired of hearing it and suggested a karaoke bar. Nick reluctantly agreed, hoping that he could either avoid singing all together, or he could just get drunk enough that he wouldn't care about doing it in front of strangers.

Schmidt grabbed Nick's shoulders on the way in and squeezed them hard. "Come on, Nick, this is_ the _premiere place for karaoke in LA. Did I mention that Jimmy Kimmel, Snoop Dog and Psy sang here once?"

Nick sighed looked at him blankly, "Many times. At least they have booze here."

"See, this place is cooler than it looks. And despite your aversion to fun in general, I'm going to see that you have some tonight." Schmidt and CeCe were out of town so much with work, that he didn't get to hang out with Nick like they did in their loft days. And he missed it. "We're gonna get Nick Miller, bachelor extraordinare, a good time tonight if it kills me."

Nick looked up at him quickly, "Remember Schmidt, I said no strippers. Or hookers. Or any other poor young woman degrading herself just to work her way through college."

"Nick, my man, I got it covered. This is strictly food, song and massive amounts of alcohol that you don't have to pay for. It's gonna be cool, man, don't worry."

CeCe hoofed it past the guys and caught up with Jess, linking arms with her and whispering conspiratorily, "So, no Taya tonight. This is good. We're gonna get you nice and buzzy, and you're gonna sing and be happy...and shake what Bob & Joan gave you."

Jess sighed, "I know what you're doing CeCe, and I really don't think it's a good idea."

"Why not, Jess? We're just having fun. If you also happen to look _slammin_ in that dress, what's the harm?" CeCe smiled widely.

Jess wore her favorite jewel toned, 30% off Kate Spade dress. The metallic orange top portion plunged in a V halfway down to the black banded waistline, the vibrant pink skirt billoughing down almost to her knee. Black tights and black bow stilletos made her feel both sexy and sweet. So what if it was Nick's favorite. So what if he had casually mentioned how perfect her breasts looked in it one late, tipsy night at the bar last year. That's not why she wore it.

They all got comfortable at their table, their tall, wiry waiter Thom appearing to take their orders.

"Arrogant bastard," Nick grunted in his general direction.

"Name calling the help is so 1970's sitcom, Nick." Schmidt rolled his eyes in annoyance.

"It's a beer, Schmidt," Jess smiled at Nick, proud that she knew a little bit more about brews than the average patron, thanks to their occasion bar talk.

"Nay, an _ale_, Jessica. Lagers are lighter. Ales are rich, more aggressive," Nick rattled off like a pro.

Schmidt groaned, "Alright Barman, no more shop talk, just drunkenness and bad singing."

"You got it."

Two orders of coconut shrimp, several mahi mahi fish tacos and many, _many_ drinks later, Nick, Schmidt and Winston took the stage and got it going with the_ Cops _theme _Bad Boys_.

CeCe covered her eyes and moaned, "It is_ so _weird being sober for this."

Jess watched Nick as he practically swallowed the microphone, cringing at all the germs she imagined invading his mouth at that particular moment. She laughed at his clumsy, dance-swaying, feeling more lighthearted than she had in a while. The stress of work and Nick's wedding melted away as she finished her third _Summer Nights _cocktail, a rum, melon liquor and pineapple concoction that was doing amazing things to her insides.

"Okay, you're nice and drunk. We're going next. We're doing this one." CeCe pointed out selection # 82.

Jess's swimmy eyes squinted hard to make out the print. "What? Nooo. Not that one, Ceece."

"Come on, Jess. Remember me, you and Jessica P. did it at that crappy Karaoke bar in West LA back in the college days? It'll be fun. And educational for Nick." She mumbled that last part, and Jess didn't hear. CeCe was apparently on a solo mission to get Nick to notice Jess again. And what better way than to flaunt your body and remind him how good he had it once.

The guys came back to the table, sloppily high fiving and hooting loudly. Winston motioned toward the microphone, "Okay girls, you up!"

CeCe grabbed Jess and pulled her toward the stage. Jess slurred out a protest, "Ughhh, alright, I'm coming, Ceece. Let the record show I am fully aware that I am too old and way too vanilla for this song anymore. And should you be doing this, all preggers and stuff?"

"What, pregnant girls can't be sexy? I am rockin this baby bump. And you were _always_ vanilla, Jess. Let's do this!"

Jess took the mic and looked down the stage at Nick and froze. He was watching her. The same look from dress shop, the same focused stare. He watched her as he took a long pull from his bottle. Jess felt a warmth spread over her body, starting from her toes and reaching up to the crown of her head. She remembered that look.

_Desire_. It was raw and glaring. Unhidden and unashamed.

The music started and Jess paused a moment, that warm sensation continuing to circulate, concentrating low and deep in her belly. It was an old feeling, but oh so familiar, now that she was allowing herself to remember that she had spent an entire year surrendering herself to it, once upon a time. She let that feeling take over as she began to roll her body in time with the beat of the music. She leaned up close to CeCe, keeping her eyes on Nick while they belted out the lyrics they already knew by heart, even all these years later.

_She aint got the boom like I do_  
><em>and she don't move the room like I do<em>  
><em>She aint got that jump in her trunk or the bump that you want and the girl aint got the moves like I do <em>

Jess laughed, momentarily breaking character, as CeCe grinded up against her side. Jess twisted sideways, doing a slow, exaggerated twerk. Nick took another swig and set his bottle down, his tongue peeking out to run along his bottom lip as he watched her wind her body, her voice returning to soft and sultry as she rap-sang.

_Is it true that your girl don't do the things I do _  
><em>Are you missing this love that I used to give to you <em>

Somewhere in her foggy brain, Jess knew this was crazy, and maybe even kind of pathetic, taunting her ex with her body a few days before his wedding to another woman, but she couldn't help herself. Her inhibitions were lowered from drink and she was tired of fighting it. Nick sat captivated, the guys hooting and whistling as the song ended.

Schmidt went up and took CeCe's hand, "My baby mama's still got it!"

Jess tried to jump-hop down off stage, losing her balance. Nick rushed forward and grabbed her arm, stopping her mid-fall. "Whoaaa, Jessica! You, okay?"

She met his hazy eyes and giggled, "Yes, Nick, I'm good. I'm cool..I need to sit."

Jess felt a little nauseated as he led her back to the table and helped her into the chair next to his. He sat down beside her, consciously keeping his hands to himself. "That was, uh...that was great Jess. I didn't realize you were gonna get all rap-diva on me tonight." He grinned at her skeptical look. "No, I'm serious. You looked really..you looked good up there. Reeeally good." He slid his hand up to rest on hers.

_There are those hands again_. _So big and strong and _sexy.

Nick just looked at her and grinned. Jess closed her eyes, groaning, "Did I just say that out loud?"

"Yeppp," Nick chuckled softly but kept his hand where it was. "I think we've both had a little too much, Jessica."

Jess loved the way he continually called her Jessica when he was drunk.

They watched Winston do an impressive version of _Gangsta's Paradise_, sitting close and laughing and just having a great time. They always had a good time together, but this time it was different. They had spent many nights hanging out, some of them sober, some of them drunk, teasing each other and bantering back and forth. But they never flirted, not like this. All thoughts of Taya seemed to be far from both of their minds.

"So, you like my hands, huh?" Nick's eyes skimmed over her cleavage for a split second before returning to her face. He knew he was putting her on the spot, and he was apparently enjoying it.

Jess giggled for about ten seconds longer than she intended to. She was trying to play it cool, but the alcohol was calling the shots now, and the urge to let it tell her what to do was strong.

"Nick, look..yes, I do like your hands. Sooo what? We're friends. Friends can compliment each other. Friends tell each other they have nice hands, that is a completely normal thing to say. It's not weird. Okay? Not. Weird. At all."

Nick tilted his head sideways and raised an eyebrow at her, his eyes more focused than expected. "Yesss. You are right. And friends can totally tell their friends that they have great legs, and they shouldn't always hide them behind tights all the time. They need air, just like anyone. They need to breathe, Jessica."

Jess' face burned hot, a little overwhelmed at his sudden honesty. _Is that what you really think about, Nick? Do you think about it a lot?_

Nick laughed. Jess' eyes widened and she covered her mouth with both hands, "Did I say that outloud too?"

Nick grinned at her, his hand still holding hers, his thumb rubbing firmly across the soft skin of the back of her hand. "S'okay, Jessica. And..yeah, I think about that stuff. Sometimes. Don't you?"

Jess avoided answering and quickly picked up a shot glass from the table, throwing it back and choking and coughing as soon as the strong liquid hit her throat.

"Hey!" Winston hollered, "That was my Jagerbomb! Get your own lady!"

Nick patted her back softly as her coughing calmed down. "You okay?"

Jess leaned back in her chair, slipping her hand out of his and resting it in her lap. "Fine. I'm fine, Nicholas." She didn't know what to say, now that they were in this weird zone of unwittingly speaking their minds.

She wanted to tell him, "Yes, I think about it. For the past week it's all I've thought about. I want you. I want you, bad." But she stopped herself from blurting out her thought this time. It wasn't fair to Nick. He didn't deserve to be jerked around by some fleeting emotions that just so happened to resurface as soon as he got engaged.

She kept her eyes on her recently delivered water, _thanks CeCe_, swallowing the lump that had risen in her throat as the lyrics of Schmidt's off key version of _Baby One More Time _almost made her burst into sudden, crazy tears.

_My loneliness is killing me_  
><em>And I, I must confess I still believe<em>  
><em>When I'm not with you I lose my mind<em>  
><em>Give me a sign...<em>


	7. Chapter 7

Jess lay on the massage table at the_ Le Femme Fatale Day Spa_, her face burning and buzzing after her PlantCell Lifting Peel facial. It had promised an immediate_ plumping _effect, which she could firmly vouch for.

Taya had decided to go non-traditional with her bachelorette party and have a trendy, all day spa event instead, complete with massage and body treaments and a fancy luncheon/dinner at their four star cafe.

Her face felt three times it's normal size. She had requested the Gentle Innocence facial, but after forty minutes of torture and repeated subject changes when she asked for a mirror, she knew a mix up had occured.

Her suspicions were totally confirmed when Taya came out of the opposite room in her pink silk robe, hair tied up in a flawless bun, her face registering instant horror at Jess' appearance. "Oh my lord, Jess honey! What happened to your sweet little face?"

Taya's best friend, Honor, wasted no time chiming in, "Oh my stars! That is the worst reaction that I have ever seen after a facial. Looks like Violet Beauregard in_ Charlie and the Chocolate Factory_!"

Taya ignored her and sidled up to Jess, laying a hand on her shoulder sympathetically. "Now don't you listen to her." She shot Honor a quick glare before focusing back on Jess. "Did Rafael do yours? He's one the best, you know. Sometimes sensitive skin just reacts that way to high quality products it's not used to dealin with." She smiled sweetly at Jess.

_Uh, was that a slam on my poor, lower-middle class skin?_ "It's okay, Taya. They gave me some Benadryl and did a restorative treatment. It'll calm down, I'm sure." Jess was slightly irked at Taya's overly concerned, mother hen act, that was starting to feel like _an act_. She wanted to believe it was sincere, at least for Nick's sake.

"Well, okay, if you're sure." Taya turned and addressed her group of nine bridesmaids who had all emerged from their nearby rooms, "Okay, girls, next up is the Warm Stone Deep Tissue Treament and massages!" She deserted Jess just as quickly as she had accosted her.

Jess was leery of the whole rock thing. The only time she had ever had a massage was on that cruise she took with Nick and CeCe and the guys after they broke up. As she laid there waiting, her mind once again began to run it's recently familiar gymnastics._ What am I gonna do about Nick? What do I mean, what am I gonna do? Nothing! I'm going to do nothing_.

She buried her face down into the silk pillow._ This is all your fault, Jess. _All these years she had let him believe that she didn't feel that way about him anymore. And she thought that was true. Until a week ago, when he produced a quickie fiancee and an almost shotgun wedding.

Since then she had been flooded with memories of sitting close to Nick on the couch in the loft, linking her fingers in his as they argued about whether to watch _Pride and Prejudice _or _Sports Center._ Nick smiling one of those_ Just for Jess _smiles when she got in his bed with him at night, snuggling up close for a slow, promising kiss. The way his body rhythmically rose and fell over hers, the intensity in his eyes making her toes curl.

Jess jumped as a tall, willowly blonde woman came into the room, "Are we ready for our warm stone treament?" Jess swallowed the lump in her throat, remembering her dread at these spa deals. _How bad can warm stones be?_

The answer was.._bad_. _Warm _was not even close to the fiery torture she endured as they layed rock after rock across her back. Jess forgot her emotional angst as she bit her lip hard, tasting blood. This was a whole new level of pain. She felt like such an amature next to all of Taya's rich, uppity friends. She was not a socialite, she was a teacher. A teacher whose skin was being flayed off by the intense hot lava rocks from the pits of hell!

After Jess had winced out loud for the fifth time, the attendant sighed deeply and leaned down next to Jess, "Is this too intense for you, Miss Day?"

Jess had stayed quiet for long enough._ Who the heck were these people, masochists_? She was sick and tired of doing nothing, saying nothing. _It's time to have some gumption, Jess._

"Uh, to be honest, _yes_. I think I've had enough _pampering _now." Jess scooted up quickly, the weighty rocks falling off her back and all over the floor.

"Miss Day! You can't just jump up like that! These rocks are quarried volcanic basalt stones from Peru!" Jess reared back and crossed her arms, refusing to pretend to be impressed by this insanity anymore. "I really don't give a horse's patooty what kind of rocks they are. I'm done! Now please be so kind as to point me in the direction of the bar." Jess landed ungracefully on the floor, carefully gathering her robe around her sensitive skin.

The woman glared at Jess and spoke through clenched teeth, "We do not have a bar here, miss. The Harmony Cafe is down the hall and to the right. Be on your way, dear."

Jess averted her stern eyes, looking down as she tightened her robe and shuffled out of the room, as if she had been kicked out. _Hey, it was my choice to leave! They gotta have something besides cucumber water to drink around here._ Jess shouted at the woman in her head all the way down to the cafe. Women were seated at small rounds tabes with large, disproportionate chandeliers hovering above them.

Jess plopped down at one, ignoring the look of disdain from several snooty ladies at a nearby table. An overly attentive waiter dressed in a white polo, crisp white dockers and white shoes appeared, "Good afternoon, miss. Would you like an coconut water? The special today is grilled tofu kabobs."

Jess peered at him through her bangs and thought a moment, "Uh, actually, can I get a mimosa. And a cheeseburger? Ooh, or a steak! A great, big steak, with a side of A1 sauce? Actually, if you could just bring the whole bottle out, that'd be great."

The man looked at her with a straight face, then broke into a whispy laugh, like she had made a joke, "Why don't I get you a menu? You'll find our selections to be much less _prosaic _than steakhouse faire."

Jess leaned back in her chair and laughed silently, this time recognizing the thinly veiled insult right away. She took her smuggled cell phone out of her robe pocket and dialed CeCe.

As soon as she picked up, Jess started in, "Cecelia. Well, I'm so sorry you had to miss _spa day _with Taya. I will probably never forgive you for deserting me like this, just so you know."

CeCe sighed, "Oh no, what? What happened? Did they try to strip you naked for the massage? I know you hate public nudity. Did Taya's friends give you an extreme makeover and now you have a blonde pixie cut?"

Jess nodded at the waiter as he set a mimosa and a menu in front of her. "No, but I think I've been burned over 80% of my body and my face looks like Trini Parker after she used three Oxy Anti-Acne masks in a row at her slumber party in junior high."

CeCe whistled, "Whoa..that bad huh? Wow, Jess, I'm really sorry. You know I had to catch up on work before the wedding. You want me to come up there and knock some sense into those _Pretty Woman _sales ladies who think run of the mill hooker's money isn't good enough?"

Jess downed about two thirds of her drink and laughed, feeling a little more calm, "No Ceece. But thanks. I'm at the cafe now, and I'm about to eat.." she looked closer at the menu, "...Bean Spouts with Tofu Puff." She scrunched up her nose in digust.

CeCe huffed, "God, I hope not."

Jess flagged down the waiter, arms waving wildly, "Hey, dude! I'm gonna need a couple more mimosas. And, hold the OJ, will ya?"

~N/J~

Jess hid behind the darkest, largest sunglasses she owned as she waited for Nick outside the jewelry store. She still couldn't believe she had let him talk her into this. Her head throbbed with the after effects of yesterday's monster champagne hangover. She had gone home and collapsed into bed for fourteen hours straight, her mind and body needing recovery.

Her body, from the damage of a day of_ luxury_. Her mind, from the agony of unrequited feelings. Were they unrequited, though? The way Nick had looked at her in the last week made her wonder. Did he really only see her as a best friend? Could he so easily forget that they were madly in love once?

Her pounding head protested her return to vigorous thought, and she held her head in her hand, her mood sour and worsening the longer she waited for Nick, and he didn't appear. She didn't like the negative vibe she got from Taya at the spa. Like she wanted to appear agreeable on the surface, but she was really only tolerating Jess until she had Nick locked in and all to herself. She didn't feel sorry for herself right now. She was mad. Livid. Flat out pissed off. She didn't have a valid reason to not like Taya. She didn't have a reason to be angry at Nick for forgetting her. No solid reason to hold on to. But she just didn't care anymore.

Nick's car came up the street and he parked in a nearby space, running over to Jess, out of breath. "Hey, Jess. Sorry I'm late. Taya had me doing..well, I was..we were..."

Jess glared at him behind her glasses, her anger welling up even stronger at the thought of him all but admitting he was late because he and Taya were...

"Can we just do this, Nick? I'm crazy tired, okay." She opened the door and motioned for him to go in ahead of her. He paused and looked at her for a minute, grinning. "You're hung over. I didn't think they served mai tais at the spa." His amused expression just made her madder.

"It was champagene, Nick. You know what champagne is, right? I mean, it's not as sophisticated as all your craft brews and liquors, I know, but it gets the job done. Can we go in now, please?"

Nick smiled faded, "Uh, yeah. Fine. Let's go." He held the door and gestured for her to go first. Jess went in with Nick right behind.

The store manager came up and introduced himself, "Hello! I'm Michael. Welcome. We're looking for wedding rings, am I right? I have a special sense about these things. You two make a great couple. When's the big day?"

Jess looked down, crossing her arms, waiting for Nick to explain. "Uh, no. We're..it's not..we're not together. We're just friends. I am here for a wedding band, though. My fiancee and I are surprising each other with the rings. Anything you can recommend?"  
>Jess lagged behind as Nick followed the owner around the store, rolling her eyes and sighing while Nick looked at at least a dozen rings.<p>

The owner eventually sensed the chill coming from Jess and excused himself, giving Nick time to think it over. As soon as he disappeared into the back, Nick turned to Jess annoyed, "What is your problem, Jess?"

"My problem? I don't have a problem, Nick. I am just fine. You're the one who can't decide between twenty rings that all look exactly the same."  
>"Jess, I don't understand, why are you acting like this? You said you wanted to help me. If this is how you're gonna be, then maybe you should just leave." He stood with his hands loosely on his hips, frustrating radiating off of him.<p>

"You want me to leave? That is a great idea!" Jess started for the door and Nick grabbed her arm, spinning her around a little too hard as their bodies collided, their faces inches apart. Her shallow breath mingled with his as he searched her eyes.

"What the hell, Jess. You're supposed to be my friend."

Jess huffed out a laugh, "Believe me, Nick, I am _definitely_ your friend."

"What does that even mean, Jess?"

"It means what it means, Nick."

"That doesn't make any sense."  
>"Yeah, well, a lot of things don't make sense right now, Nick, like your fiancee."<br>"What _about_ Taya?"

"Well, she's a little young, isn't she Nick. I mean, you're not..like..a female Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore..thing. You're not a celebrity..movie star..person! And she's, like, half your age."  
>"You think I'm too old for her? You didn't say anything before!" Nick's voice reached shouting range, matching Jess' as they faced off like the old days.<p>

"Well you didn't ask!"

"So I have to run everyone I ever date by you now, Jess?"  
>"No! Because you're not dating anymore. You're getting married, Nick! Do you even realize that yet?"<br>"Of course I realize it! I'm the one doing it!"  
>"Yeah, you sure are, aren't you!"<p>

"You are a crazy person, Jess!"

"I can't deal with this right now, I gotta go!" Jess ran out into the blinding sun, shading her eyes until she put her shades back on. She got in her car and gunned it down the street, the tears already streaming down her face.


	8. Chapter 8

**Super long chapter! After repeated editing it just kept growing and growing. Hope you like it :)**

Jess woke with a start to a persistent banging sound, and then a loud crash outside her bedroom window. She grabbed her covers up over the pink polka dot pajamas and gathered them close to her face. She covered her nose and breathed shallowly beneath the sheets, her eyes trained on the narrow open space between her black and white toile curtain panels. The noise stopped abruptly.

In the last few weeks there had been some break-ins in the neighborhood. Jess tried to reason with herself that she was a grown woman and not freak out about it, but that was just one of those things that really terrified her, living alone. One of her teachers at the college had tried to get her to join one of those self defense classes with her. Or at least get some mace. Winston gave her updates on the news from local police reports.

One day last month, when she mentioned to Winston that she kinda wanted to get a gun, he flatly refused to help. "Uh uh, Jess. That is not happening. You have trouble getting jars of salsa open, and you want to handle a fire arm? I'd never hear the end of it from Nick. I'd offer to patrol your house if I still lived in LA. But, hey, why don't you come up and go to the shooting range with me sometime. Get an idea of what it's like to see a real cop in action!"

She loved Winston enough to laugh at him in the privacy of her office later on. He was good at his job, but not always the swagger. Nick and Schmidt both had always taken care of her like brothers, and she did appreciate them for that. She never got around to taking the class or buying mace or a gun, so none of those things were going to help her now.

After her fight with Nick that afternoon at the jewelry store, she had driven straight home, dove back under the covers of her still unmade hangover bed and cried til she fell asleep again. That was two days ago. Ever since then she had hung out at home, ate two entire boxes of Ho-Ho's, drank endless cups of green tea and checked her phone every half hour. She and Nick had never gone more than twenty four hours without at least calling or texing. But she couldn't bring herself to call him first, even thought she knew she was in the wrong.

They were best friends, but they were totally different people. Over the years, they had disagreements, arguments and even yelling matches. Like why Jess always forgot to replace the batteries in her smoke alarm and had to flip through every channel on the guide before picking something to watch. Jess was still on Nick's inability to leave a good tip at restaurants and why was he still wearing the same tattered, full-of-holes-now green tee that he had owned for the last ten years.

They fought. That was their thing. It's what kept the spice in their relationship. They could say anything to each other. It's what made them work. But it was never about anything serious or life-changing. Nothing was at risk or on the line, especially their friendship. But now Jess realized that she may have pushed Nick away for good this time. He chose Taya to marry, to be his wife. If Jess didn't support him in that, then she might just be helping Taya to corner him off from her and the rest of his world. She still wasn't sure that was her goal, but something about Taya and what she had said at the spa had thrown a red flag.

Of all the fights they had before, arguing about love and marriage to other people was unchartered territory for them both. Neither one of them had ever even come close to falling in love with someone again. Her subconscious mind whispered _You know why that is, don't you Jessica? _She pushed the voice aside.

She had half expected him to call and make up like he usually did after one of their brawls, but this time there was no funny apology text or phone call. She knew he had a shift at the bar that night. Maybe he just needed a chance to cool down before talking to her again.

But back to right now, she had bigger problems, like _my life may be in imminent danger _problems. Jess slid carefully out of bed, her eyes locked on the window as she moved inside her open closet and felt around blindly for some kind of weapon. Her hand closed around a long cylinder and she pulled it out and held it in front of her, squinting in the dark room to try and make out the shape.

A roll of sparkly purple wrapping paper._ That'll do. _She grabbed her phone from her bedside table and eased herself down to the floor by her bed. She slid the unlock screen and read Nick's last text message from three days ago for the hundredth time, _Shampoo is better_. She felt that twist in her heart at the familiar Adam Sandler bit they always did to cheer each other up.

But that was before. She tried to shake off her nervousness as she forced herself to tap his name andhit _Call, _anxiously waiting for him to pick up.

After several rings he answered, sounding wary and tired. "Jess...why are you up so late? I told you not to watch _Walking Dead _without me anymore, we both know you just can't handle it."

Jess whispered urgently, "Nick! That is not why I'm calling. There's something outside my window, and you have to come over."

Nick huffed a hollow laugh, "Jess, come on. It's probably the neighbor's twenty pound cat in your garbage cans again. Remember, we caught him in there with that Calico from across the street getting some cat lovin? They really need to neuter that thing already. Relax, I'm sure it's nothing. Now go back to sleep, or you'll be dragging ass tomorrow." Nick was silent a moment, his voice strained as he prepared to hang up, "I'm working, Jess, I really need to go now."

"No! Nick, don't hang up, please! This time it's different. There was another break in at the house behind me last weekend, and I'm scared. Nick? PLEASE?!"

Jess screetchy voice echoed through his cell and he winced and then sighed. "Alright, I'm just closing up the bar now. I'll be there in ten. Just, get back in bed and wait til I get there, okay? I'll use my key."

"Okay, hurry! And Nick.._conditioner_ is better."

Jess kept the phone to her ear a full minute after he hung up, trying to stop time until he got there. She thought she heard him laugh softly before hanging up. Her phone read 3:02. She didn't realize it was so late, but she didn't care. She suddenly realized, she didn't even hesitate calling him, because no matter what, in her heart she knew he'd answer, and she knew he'd come.

She knew she should feel guilty for summoning Nick to her house in the middle of the night, especially in light of what had happened. And if she was in Taya's place, she knew that having her fiance run off to his former girlfriend's house at 3am would definitely bother her. But that bothered her much less than she thought it would. And she couldn't think about that right now anyway, not when her life could could be in danger.

What if it was a burglar, and when Nick got here, he ran into him and got hurt? She hadn't thought about that. What if he had a knife, or a gun?! _Stop it, Jess. Calm down_. It was no good. She sat trembling beneath her flannel sheets, listening closely for any and every sound. Several minutes later, she jumped when she heard the front door rattle._ Oh no, someone was trying to get in! _

Jess jumped out of bed and grabbed the wrapping paper tube again, and swang it hard at the shadowy figure that rushed in her doorway.

"AGHHHHHH!" Jess violently swung the flimsly cardboard over and over, and Nick screamed loud and girly-like. "JESS! JESSICA! IT'S ME! It's me! Jess..." he grabbed the tube and it fell apart pathetically and unraveled in his hands.

Jess threw her arms around his neck and whimpered, "Nick! Thank God! I thought you were the burglar!"  
>Nick held her loosely around the waist, "It's okay Jess, you're okay. Why were you hitting me? You knew it was me, you knew I was coming over."<br>Jess pulled back and gave him an annoyed look, "NO, I did not know it was you. What if the burglar beat you in here? I could have_ died_, Nick!"

Nick slid his hands down her arms and grabbed her hands, trying to calm her down. "There's no burglar, Jess. I didn't see anything out front. I'm gonna go out back and check it out."

Jess followed closely behind as he strode toward the french doors that let to her patio. She cried out softly and cringed as he unlatched the doors and threw them open. She grabbed his arm and tiptoed along with him down the stone steps that led past her bedroom window.  
>"See, Jess. What'd I tell ya." Her garbage cans were open and one of them lay on it's side, the contents spread out over the walkway and around the other side of the house.<p>

Jess waited til he finally met her eyes and she held his gaze for a long moment. "I'm sorry Nick. Really. I had a really bad day at the spa, with the face peeling and the back rocks and the weird food, and I was hungover and...I just wasn't myself at the jewelry store. And I should have been more supportive. And..I'm sorry Nick." Jess' eyes pleaded with him to understand.

Nick's face softened and a slight grin appeared, "It's okay, Jess. I'm sorry too." Nick appeared to be a tough guy at times, but he was actually a big old softie at heart. He never stayed angry at Jess for long, and was always quick to forgive. It was one of the things she loved most about him. Jess closed her eyes, relief flooding her.

He looked back at the mess on her sidewalk and sighed heavily. "Damn cats. You need a fence, Jess. Come on, I need a beer."

Nick took her hand and led her back inside to the kitchen. He sat her down on one of her padded island stools, procuring two beers from the fridge. He sat hers opened in front of her and motioned for her to drink.

Jess closed her eyes and sighly deeply, then quickly drank a third of the amber liquid before setting it down soundly on the counter, swallowing hard. "Eck, I hate beer."

Nick sat down in the chair next to her, bumping his hip against her knees teasingly. "Then why do you always buy it?" Nick watched her slowly look up at him, raising her eyebrows knowingly.

"Yeah, yeah I know. It takes up your precious organically-stocked fridge space. I know you buy it just for me. Again, thank you_._" He raised his eyebrows back at her, watching the slow smile spread across her face as he drank.

For the first time Jess noticed Nick's attire. Dark pants, white button down with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows and a tie that was loosened around the neck, as if he had been trying to yank it free all night. She wondered fleetingly if tonight was the night of the infamous dinner with the in-laws. The thought diappeared as she looked him over, resisting the urge to bite her lip. He looked incredibly handsome as the casual dressy, rumpled but comfortable man she got to see from time to time. And even more so now that he was a business owner. It was her kryptonite.

"Thanks for coming, Nick." Jess looked down, her face blushing hot as she played with the condensation on her bottle. _What is wrong with me? I'm getting all junior high giddy with him now? This never happened before Nick was suddenly unavailable and taken._ The phrase _wanting what you can't have _floated through her mind, but she pushed it away quickly.

Jess ignored herself and nonsensically took a few more sips of brew before smiling at a memory. "Remember that one time you got crazy drunk at the zoo, so they threw us out early, and then we came here and you acted out all the animals I missed?"

Nick rolled his eyes and groaned, "Vaguely."

"So, how bout it?" Jess smiley sweetly, batting her eyelashes in challenge.

Nick swallowed his last sip hard, his wide eyes answering first. "NOOO. No way, Jess. I'm gonna need another dozen beers, or a few hard shots before that idea will be appealing."

Jess hopped up and grabbed a bottle of Nick's favorite whiskey from the top shelf, "No problem." She grabbed two shot glasses and filled them halfway, pushing one over to Nick.

He looked at her briefly and smirked before picking up the glass, quickly throwing it back, then swiping the spillage from his mouth.

"Quid pro quo." He rubbed his jaw and grinned widely, waiting. Jess took her glass and copied him, tossing it down and then wiping her mouth.

She giggled as he refilled the glasses and held his in mid air, waiting for her. She moaned out loud, "Ughh, I'm gonna regret starting this. I'm barely over mylast hangover."

They both drank. Then a few minutes later, drank another. Forgetting what time it was, what day it was. Forgetting every other thing in the world except them. Jess didn't want to think anymore, she just wanted to be here, right now, with Nick.

Thirty minutes later, Jess was laying on her couch laughing at Nick's gorilla impression. He swung his arms clumsily and did a really bad ape-voice before dropping to the floor next to her head. "Aghh, Jess. We are way too old for this."

Feeling relaxed for the first time in weeks, Jess reached out and ruffled his hair as he laid his head down on the couch next to hers. "Nope. I disagree. That'll still be funny when we're eighty and sitting in the rocking chairs at the nursing home."

Nick let out a muffled laugh, his face pressed against the side of the couch cushion. "Yeah, but I'm guessing that'll be a B.Y.O. and hide-it-well establishment."

Jess reached over and touched his newly sprouted beard, stroking it briefly, the feel of his stubble rough against her palm, "Don't worry, I'll bring it."

Nick rolled his head toward her and smiled in mock surprise, "You will? Aw, that's sweet, promising to keep me all liquored up in my golden years. What a good friend." He grabbed her hand and placed a quick kiss on her wrist.

Jess felt warm, and a little woozy, leaning a little too far over the couch, "Nooo, you are the good friend, Nick Miller. You came and saved me from the bad guys tonight." Jess slipped off and down the the floor, her body crashing gently against his, her head landing on his shoulder.

Nick chuckled softly, "Cats, Jess. And not even very fiesty ones. You called, I came. That's how we do. Always."

Jess felt his hand move between them, his fingers lacing with hers. She was close enough to feel his breath on her cheek as he moved closer, and she caught her breath, "You promise?"

Nick's whispered softly next to her earlobe, "Promise," before his lips bushed the sensitive skin behind it.

Jess relaxed her body against his, a tingling sensation making it's way through every nerve in her body. She turned and met his warm brown eyes, no time to be surprised when his mouth covered hers in a gentle but confident kiss.

Their lips parted, but hovered close, their breath mingling as they looked into each other's eyes. Drink may have started this, but there was clarity between them as they kissed again, this time with intention, with purpose.

And that purpose was...to be close to each other. That's the one thing they both wanted right now, and they focused on that feeling alone as they continued to kiss for the next hour. They held on to each other but kept their hands and their bodies mostly in check at a PG13 rating, a consciousness in the back of their minds of a more permanent line that they both knew they couldn't cross, not now.

Jess felt like a rag doll in his arms as he held her close, his magnificent mouth firmly but tenderly moving against hers, his tongue gently tangling with hers. She didn't even try to stop the soft moans that escaped her as he layered kisses across her cheeks and jawline before returning to her lips, a hint of desperation to not miss out on the sweetness as he tasted them again and again and again.

After over sixty minutes of bliss, Nick pulled away and dropped his hands into his lap, closing his eyes and shaking his head gentlly from side to side. "Damn it," he cursed softly. He crossed his legs, lamely attempting to correct the magnum level hardness between them.

Jess dropped her head in her hands and let out a deep breath. She looked up at him again and whispered, wisely keeping the minimal distance between them, "Nick...I'm sorry."

Nick cocked his head to the side and dared to let himself look at her again. "Are you?"

Jess felt confused and dazed. And guilty and sad. And exhilirated and hopeful. She kept her eyes on his for a long time before answering honestly, "No."

"So...what are we doing here, Jess? What is happening here now? I don't know what to...I wish I...aghhh." He groaned and scrubbed his hands across his face. "You are my friend, Jess. My best friend, in the whole wide world. But what just happened here feels...amazing. And exciting. And so, so scary. And, oh yeah, I'm getting _married _on Saturday." He groaned louder and rubbed the heels of his hands into his eyes so hard he saw stars.

Jess closed her eyes and whispered so low, he almost didn't hear her say it.

"Are you?"


	9. Chapter 9

A familiar warmth surrounded Jess as she woke, the faint sound of her alarm echoing from her bedroom down the long winding hallway towards the back of the house. Jess attempted a stretch but a set of strong arms held her in firmly in place. Nick's arms.

She relaxed back against him, her head on his chest and smiled, remembering what had happened last night. Well, technically, just a few hours ago. She glanced at her antique grandfather clock, noting that it was seven am. Just barely two hours since they had ended their hour long makeout session.

They didn't say much after. They both knew what they were feeling, but neither had any answers as to what it meant or what they should do about it. That fear that had paralyzed them years ago had risen to the surface and stopped them dead in their tracks once more. Exhaustion finally won out, and they had fallen asleep in each other's arms on Jess' couch, not sure how to move forward but unwilling to let go just yet.

Jess let herself relax inside his embrace, forgetting the last few years, forgetting their break up. She let her mind wander, pretending that five years ago she had never said those words to him and he had never agreed with her. And they were just waking up on their couch, in their house. Maybe they were married. Maybe they had been for years. Maybe their three year old daughter was about to wake up, anxious to run into her eighteen month old brother's room and wake him up for the day too. But it was early, and the house was quiet, and they had this time to be alone together before their hectic day. Jess had finally let herself dream, and this time she dreamed big.

Nick suddenly jumped up like he'd been shot, his phone buzzing violently in his pants pocket while simultaneously blaring Beyonce's_ Diva_, the ringtone Taya had set so Nick knew immediately that it was her calling. She didn't like it when she had to deal with voicemail, so Nick had learned to answer her on the third ring. After the fifth ring, it went silent and Nick cursed under his breath, turned toward the window and scrubbed his hands up and down his face hard.

A few seconds later he turned back to Jess, apology all over his face, "Jess, I...I'm sorry. That's Taya. I...I'm sorry Jess, I just...I...I gotta go."

Jess sat on the edge of the couch, eyes wide open to reality now, clasping her hands tightly in her lap. So much she wanted to say, and not one clue how to say it. She answered in a thin, strained voice, "Yeah, sure. I get it. It's fine."

He moved toward her and she stood up in front of him, close enough to feel the tension radiating off his body. She fought tears as his eyes locked on hers with a mixture of both longing and regret. His didn't move for several minutes, he just stared , like if he dared lost her gaze, she might disappear and he would never see her again.

Nick flexed and squeezed his hands at his waist several times, wanting to touch her, to hold her. Instead he abruptly turned away, grabbed his keys from the coffee table and rushed out the front door.

Jess let the tears fall freely as she quietly began sobbing, her breathing beginning to escalate. Her heart began pounding out of her chest as she struggled for air, that familiar feeling that she was dying seizing her entire body. She sat down and leaned forward, her head in her hands as she gasped for breath, trying to remember the info she had read about panic attacks online. _Think Jess, think! What did it say to do?!_

After ten seconds of absolutely nothing coming to mind, she grabbed her phone and hit CeCe's number, praying for her to pick up.

"Hey, Jess. What are you wearing to this thing? I think you should wear that navy blue dress we talked about..."

"Cece...I need...I can't...breathe..."  
>"Oh no, another attack? Jess, listen to me, okay? You're gonna be okay."<p>

"No...I'm not...CeCe...think I'm...dying...for real...for real this time..."  
>"Jess, listen to what I'm saying, you are not dying. You are having another panic attack. Remember to slow your breathing. Deep breaths, in and out. Do it with me now, Jess."<br>Jess mimicked CeCe's technique until she calmed down, her head dizzy but less crazed.

CeCe spoke calmly, "See, Jess. You're okay. Just keep breathing slow. You had an attack in the morning, that's unusual isn't it? What set it off do you think?"

Jess leaned back against the cushions, still out of breath and answering her evenly, "Well, I didn't get much sleep last night. And you know, stress." She paused before getting into it, "And it also could've been the fact that Nick came over at three in the morning and we spent an hour making out before falling asleep on my couch."  
>She heard CeCe's sharp intake of breath, "You did WHAT? Holy shit, Jess! How did that happen?"<p>

Jess rubbed her temples with her thumb and finger, "I don't know, CeCe. I heard a noise and thought there was a burglar, so I called Nick and he came over. We had some shots of whiskey, Nick pretended to be a gorilla and then we just started kissing."

"Nick did...he pretended what? I...oh my god, did you guys...did you..."

"No! We did not have sex, CeCe! We just kissed. For a long time. A reeeeally long time."  
>"Wow, Jess. I didn't think you had it in you. I knew Nick was still into you! So, what happened then, what did he say?"<br>"He didn't say anything. We woke up on the couch together this morning and Taya called and he ran out."  
>"Whoa! Taya called. How did that go? Was she mad?"<p>

"I don't know, CeCe, he didn't answer, he just said he had to go and took off. That's when the anxiety started in."

"Okay, look Jess, I know what you're thinking."  
>"What CeCe, what am I thinking?"<p>

"You're thinking it was just a fluke and he doesn't really care about you like that, but Jess, listen, we both know that man lives and dies for you. He loves you Jess. And you love him."

Jess didn't even try to deny it, tears falling gently down her flushed cheeks, "You're right. I do. I love him. I want him, Ceece. I want to be with him. But what if that's not what he really wants? What if I tell him how I feel and I lose him for good this time?"

"Jess, honey, this is real. He wants to be with you. Last night is your proof. This is your shot, babe. You need to talk to him."  
>"HOW CeCe? How am I gonna do that? We have the brunch at eleven, and then the rehearsal dinner is at seven."<br>"Okay, here's what you're gonna do. Get a shower, get the navy blue dress and the red Jimmy Choos I got you and I'll meet you at the hotel at ten, okay?"

"I still can't believe you spent a thousand dollars on those shoes, CeCe."  
>"Buh buh buh, we're not having that discussion again. You're worth it. Now go, I'll see you there."<p>

~N/J~

Jess went walked down the stone path leading to her car when a certain silver Pruis came roaring up the driveway. Taya hopped out and made it over to Jess before she reached her car. "Jess! Honey! Listen dear, why don't you come with me. It'll give us a chance to have a little...chat on the way to the brunch." She smiled a large plastic smile at Jess, waiting for her answer, her face perfectly clear that she would not be taking no for one.

Jess froze, fear coursing through her veins, "Uh, sure Taya." She got in the passenger seat and Taya shifted gears hard and backed out of the driveway, tearing down the street at twice the normal speed. "Taya...Taya maybe you should slow down a little bit. You know, children, dogs, nuns crossing the street..."

Taya laughed a humorless laugh, "You know Jess, when Nick first told me about you I thought, an ex girfriend as a best friend, how adorable! It didn't bother me then, honestly. I was his publicist and I was damn good at it. So I worked my ass off getting Nick through his book deal, getting him best seller. That was me, Jessica. Me. You think Nick would be where he is today if I hadn't come along and saved him? Hell. No. I know he stayed all night at your house last night, and he didn't tell me any of the details. And you know what? I don't care. It doesn't matter. Nick belongs to me now. He is going to be my husband. I think we both know that this zombie novel has been milked about as hard as it can be, and now it's time for Nick to get an actual career where he can get somewhere in life, not working at some seedy LA bar and then running over to your house whenever you cry wolf."  
>Jess sat speechless, anxiety bubbing up within her again at the speed of Taya's rapid fire words.<p>

"My father owns a law firm in Odessa and he has agreed to take Nick under his wing. As soon as we're married, we're getting Nick certified for law in the state of Texas and we're moving there. Permanently. So you see, Jess, your little post-barbaric loft days truly are over now."

Taya pulled up in front of the hotel, hopped out and in a saccharin voice handed her keys to the valet, "Oh, thank you honey bunch! Aren't you a sweetie." Then she swung her hips triumphantly as she sauntered into the front entrance.

The valet ducked his head in the window, "Ma'am? You can go in now, ma'am."  
>Jess sat stunned, then snapped to and quickly vacated the car, standing on the sidewalk, alone.<p>

~N/J~

Jess stood nervously twisting her hands as she stood waiting for CeCe in the Polo Lounge at the Beverly Hills hotel. Taya, or rather her extremely affluent parents, had spared no expense and the immaculately decorated dining room was already bustling with activity as guests got settled as their tables.

Schmidt suddenly grabbed Jess' arm, scaring her out of her chilled skin, "Jessica! There you are! CeCe's on her way in. Had to make a pit stop at the restroom, baby's calling the shots in that department. She wants me to make sure you're okay. Are you? Okay?"

Jess hushed him harshly, "Schmidt! Will you keep your voice down?"

"Sorry, Jess. But...what's going on? Have you seen Nick yet? What are you gonna say to him? I knew Nick still wanted to get his hoe back to work in your garden, but I didn't think he'd really go for it." He grinned widely and held up his hand for a high five.

Jess smacked his hand away and put her hand over his mouth and pressed as hard as she could, "Schmidt! Be quiet! No one's putting anything in anyone's garden. And JAR, by the way. I guess CeCe told you about last night. I don't know what Nick is feeling right now, honestly. But that's not not even the issue here."

CeCe came up behind Schmidt and took his arm, "Babe, I told you not to harrass her. Jess, I'm sorry I told him, it was just too juicy."

Jess ignored her, "Look, you guys, this is very important, I have to talk to Nick _as soon _as you see him come in."

Schmidt looked at CeCe, smirking at her "Ha! See, I told you she'd cave. Gonna go for the bacon, huh?"  
>"Schmidt, I have no idea what that means, but..listen to me guys. Taya just practically kidnapped me from my house and took me on the joyride from hell while telling me in no uncertain terms that she is going to make Nick move to Texas and work in her dad's lawfirm."<p>

CeCe laughed, "What? That's ridiculous. Nick would never do that, he hates lawyers."

Jess screeched, "I know!" She looked around to see if anyone heard her then lowered her voice and continued. "She basically said me and Nick are too close and she is going to solve that by getting him as far away from me as possible. So I have to talk to Nick. I'm sure he knows nothing about this and he has to know what kind of woman he is about to marry."

Winston came up and handed Jess a mimosa, "Here ya go, heard all about last night from Schmidt, thought you could use this." He winked at her.

Jess downed the entire glass in three gulps. Winston patted her on the back, "Yeah, that's it, girl. That'll help."

CeCe gave him the abbreviated version of Taya's monologue, to which he replied, "Aw hell no! That witch ain't taking our Nick off to no rich ass family business!"

They all spent the next hour checking all the exits to locate Nick, but he was nowhere to be found. Finally, Jess spotted him at Taya's table the front of the room, surrounded by her family on all sides. It was clear Taya had planned it that way, to keep Nick from talking to her.

They all continued to watch Nick like a hawk as breakfast was served, but every avenue in his direction was cut off.

"That little devil woman thought she could seduce us all with her vegan delicacies, that ain't right man! She thinks she's gonna keep Nick from the Loft Crew?" Winston's whispered loudly enough that the next table full of Taya's second cousins heard and a few of them gasped outloud.

CeCe touched his arm soothingly, "Winnie, I think you need to take it down a few notches while we talk strategy here."

Schmidt spoke under his breath, "Way ahead of you.." and suddenly cut in on the hundredth speech of the morning, Taya's maid of honor, clinking his glass loudly with his spoon.

"What a fantastic speech, Honor! How droll that that is your actual name! I think we can all see by the identical Kardashian ponytails and matching pink Maltese toy poodles just how close you and Taya truly are. I'm Schmidt, the best man, and I just want to take some time to show that, in fact, your friendship actually, well, kinda sucks when compared to that of Nick Miller and myself."

CeCe mumbled, "Why are there so many speeches at a brunch? But anyway, Schmidt's got this, Jess. You take the left and I'll try to get past that large, Italian guy down the right side."

All eyes focused on Schmidt and his colorful account of the_ real love story _of Nick & Schmidt which began with their Ramen noodle first meeting in their freshman dorm. It continued on, detailing each semester of college and each season of every year that they had been friends. For once Jess was actually glad for Schmidt's ridiculously long and way too graphicaly detailed accounts as she inched her way along the far wall toward the front of the room.

A hotel attendant stopped her halfway down, "I'm sorry ma'am, but I'm afraid you'll have to return to your assigned seat."  
>Jess backed up slightly as he pointed toward the back of the room, "Dude, I don't think you understand. I am with, uh, security for the, uh, advancement of...fancy hotel...stuff, and I have to say that the flower arrangements on the tables are totally the wrong height. And the fire exits are...just...not red enough. And I just think you should probably consult a color wheel again before you host any more events in this room."<p>

The man kept lightly pushing Jess back as she talked, "Back to your seat, ma'am," he spoke sternly.

"Alright, alright, chill dude." Jess ran back to Winston, a frantic look on her face.

Winston let out a sudden yelp, "Aha! What about the air ducts? Remember, we did that at CeCe's wedding. No badgers this time, makes it much easier to get around without the threat of death."

CeCe came up behind Winston, running her hands over her round belly, slighly out of breath, "I'm sorry, Jess. I tried to work my usual magic but big bad dude says he don't get with pregnant chicks. I told him I don't do hairy Italians who look like Ray Romano on sterroids. Everybody does _not_ love them."

Winston clapped his hands togther, "Okay! So...air ducts? Jess, you got strong arms, you can boost me up, right?" But just as they were about the head the the lobby, Taya's mother took the mic at the front of the room, "Welll, thank you, Mr...Schmidt for that strange but lovely speech. But it's time for the bride and groom to head out now!"

Jess finally caught Nick's eye just as Taya was quickly ushering him out the side door. He locked eyes with her and she saw it. Fear.

She knew he felt overwhelmed by Taya's agressive efforts toward him all morning. Taya knew Nick had spent the night at Jess' house, but that seemed to be all she knew, based on what she told Jess in the car. And now she had him in her own version of solitary confinement, and the frustrating thing was that Nick was allowing it.

But he had to have no idea what she had in mind for him. There is no way Nick would agree to go back into law, would he? And leaving LA? This is his where his home and his business and his life was. Taya had to know that he would put up resistance, if she knew him at all.

And Taya had to know that none of his friends would let any of this stuff go down without a fight. Jess wasn't sure how Taya thought she was going to keep Nick from all of them until after the wedding, but Jess was going to do whatever she had to to let Nick know everything Taya was planning.

And also that she was in love with him. Yeah, that was something he definitely needed to hear _before _the wedding. Jess ran for the entrance and made it just in time to see Taya push Nick into a limo and sail off down the street.


	10. Chapter 10

Jess pushed down on the accelerator, changing lanes as fast as she could to try and keep up with the black limo that she had lost sight of a good three minutes ago. She had to reach Nick, had to get to him. She had to tell him how she felt, what she knew without a doubt that she wanted now. She pulled up the to front of the church, tires screeching and skidding through the stop, ignoring the no parking signs as she slammed her car door shut and ran inside.

She ran past Honor and Taya's mother and into the sanctuary, scanning the room for Nick. She spotted him in a corner pew and side shuffled her way down next to him. Nick looked up in surprise, "Jess? What are you doing here?"

Jess spoke rapidly, her words spilling out in a barely understandable jumble, "Nick, look, I'm sorry. I'm sorry to do this to you here, now, but I have to say this, you have to hear me. Last night was unintentional and unexpected..."  
>"Jess, look, I know what you're going to say, and you're right. We were drunk and old feelings came up and things got a little out of hand...but it never should have happened."<p>

Jess stopped breathing, for once in her life her mouth unable to form words, the irony that Nick was here to witness the event completely lost on her right now. "I..um...I," she blinked fast, trying to retract the tears that threatened to spill out and give her away. Never should have happened? Did he really believe that?

Jess composed herself enough to look at him sideways, catching his gaze, but she couldn't see throught it, couldn't see anything that make her believe that he didn't mean what he was saying to her. She cleared her throat and looked down, trying to push away the sound of her heart literally crashing down inside her, like a fragile house of cards.

She took a deep breath and found enough strength to answer, "Uh, yeah. Yeah. You're right. It was a mistake. It was bound to happen sooner or later, right?" She tried to laugh, but it just came out as pathetic gasp.

Nick looked at her, then down at his hands, "Yeah. We have a history, and emotions that go along with that. Perfectly natural to get things mixed up."

Jess managed a smile that died on her lips almost as soon as it appeared, "Right. Yes."

"So, why don't you stay for the rehearsal? We're gonna head over to the hotel in about an hour or so for the dinner. You'll be there right?" His eyes locked onto her face, intense and hopeful.

Jess met his brown eyes, telling herself she was just imagining the uncertainty she saw there. "Of course. Of course I'll be there. You're my best friend, right?"

Nick's eyes stayed locked on hers, trying to read something he was also unsure of there, "Definitely."

Nick rose from the pew and made his way to the altar, Taya sidled up to him, taking his arm, pressing her body close to his as the wedding party surrounded them. When the preacher began discussing the details of the ceremony, Jess slid out unnoticed, got in her car and drove away. Her world now shattered, there was only one place in the world she could think of to go.

~N/J~

Nick stood at the altar next to Taya, his body feeling numb, like it was not his own. He barely listened as the preacher talked, his heart wounded and bleeding, the love inside spilling out as if he had been stabbed.

He loved Jess. He had always loved her, since the very first day they met. Since that day, he belonged to her and there was no way he could deny it. She surprised him and challenged him in a way that drove him absolutely crazy with anger one day and then mad with passion the next.

He never wanted to end things with her, but he wanted her to be happy. He decided then and there that he would do anything short of cutting off a limb to make her happy, so he agreed to the break up. He knew they would always be in each other's lives, and that was good enough for the next several years, even though his heart occasionally told him otherwise. That he should tell her how he really felt, that he'd do whatever she wanted, be whatever she needed, if she would just let him hold her again.

And last night was like a dream, one that he never thought would actually come true. But it had. Jess' lips on his, her body close to him. Jess in his arms again. Like she wanted to be there. Like she wanted him. But her look of confusion and uncertainty that morning let him to believe that nothing had really changed, that she didn't love him, not that way. He was still essentially the same person the he was five years ago. He hadn't changed. And Bob Day's fateful words had echoed in his mind once again,_ You're not good enough_.

"Nick? Nick!" He snapped out of his thoughts to Taya's shrill voice echoing through the church hall, everyone around them laughing at his silence, "Do you take me to be your wife?" Taya laughed it off, but was clearly annoyed that he had not been paying attention.

Nick stammered his response, "Uh, yeah. Yes. Yes...I do. Sorry. I do." Taya's eyes narrowed and she giggled and took his hand, squeezing it hard. Something about Taya had changed in the last twenty four hours. The sweet, caring woman he thought he was in love with had become the bride-zilla he didn't expect. Her controlled anger when he came home that morning after spending the night with Jess actually scared him a little. But she had quickly recovered and kissed him sweetly, telling him it was okay, that she loved him, that she couldn't wait to marry him. He was so relieved that he had dodged a fight that he missed the oddity of it at the time.

After the preacher dismissed them, Taya went over to her mom to discuss flower details and Nick took the time to sit down and take some deep breaths._ It's okay, Nick. Everything will work out. Just chill, dude._

Just then Schmidt came in a side door and made a beeline for Nick, ducking his head to avoid being seen by Taya and her crew. He whispered harshly, "Nick! Oh man, I'm so glad I finally got you."

"Schmidt, where have you been? You're my best man, you're in the wedding party. Why weren't you here already?"

"Because, Nick, some very strong, very pungent men accosted me as I was leaving the brunch and kept me in some second rate hotel prison. Remember in Mexico, you watched Ugly Betty in one? I think it's a running theme. I saw about five episodes before I was able to shimmy out a side window."

Nick's eyebrows knit in frustrated confusion, "Schimdt, what the _hell _are you talking about?"

"No time, Nick, you gotta hear this. Taya is basically the wicked witch from Oz, without all the fun monkeys to keep her company."

Nick cut him off, "Schmidt, I really don't need this right now, okay? This has been a really rough day, and I really just need to get through it. I could've used you here, you know."

"Yes, I know, but I'm trying to tell you..Taya has plans, man. Big plans. She wants to take you to Texas and make you a lawer. She wants to get you away from Jess, away from all of us."

"What? Schmidt, you're not making any sense. Where are you getting all this?"

"From Jess!" He lowered his voice, looking around to see if he was noticed before continuing, "Taya went over to Jess' this morning and told her, said your writing days are over, and as soon as you were married she's going to take you back to Hicktown, Texas, get you certified for law there, and make you some lackey in her father's company."

Nick's eye went wide and he tried to get up, "What?! That's insane! Taya knows I hate law, she would never do that? Jess must have misunderstood."

Schmidt huffed out a laugh, "Really? I don't think so, Nick. She told Jess that you and her were too close and that she was gonna get you away from each other for good as soon as possible after the wedding. She knew Jess was coming to tell you at the brunch, and she had hotel security keep us from you there."

Nick sat back against the hard wood, letting out a deep breath, "This is.. I can't believe it."  
>"Oh, and one more thing, Nick. Jess..she's in love with you, man."<p>

Nick sat up, his eyes locked urgently on Schmidt, "What? What do you mean?"

"I mean she told CeCe this morning that she realized she loves you and wants to be with you. After the brunch she took off to find you and tell you all this. I'm guessing she didn't make it here?"

Nick leaned over and put his head in his hands, "No, no..she made it, but I..I told her..I said last night was a mistake and...I told her we should forget it."

Schmidt paused, "Wow, Nick, you are the dumbest boy in school. You don't really think that, do you?"

Nick stood up, "Of course not! Of course I don't think that. I love her. I..I love her. I want to be with her. I..I don't know what I was thinking, or how I didn't see it when she was here. She wanted to tell me then. I stopped her. What else was she going to do? This is such a mess, Schmidt. This whole Taya thing was a big mistake. How could I have fooled myself into thinking I loved her. I had love, real love. With Jess. I just..I didn't think you could love that way twice in one lifetime, so I thought Taya was..."

Taya appeared at the sound of her name, Nick and Schmidt both flinching, "Nicky, there you are honey. I see your best man has finally arrived. Whatever kept you away, dear?"

Schmidt laughted, "Well, some poorly attired hotel goons, if you didn't already know."

Taya smirked at him, then directed her attention back to Nick, "We have to go to the reception now, dear. Come on." She linked arms with Nick and tried to pull him toward the center aisle.

Nick stopped in place, "Taya, listen. We need to talk."

Schmidt stood watching them closely, not wanting to miss a second of this. CeCe would never forgive him if he left out any details.

Taya looked at Nick, nervousness apparent in her stance, "What Nick? We need to go. Now."

"Taya, I...I can't marry you."

Taya laughed, and it rung loudly throughout the room, "Of course you can, Nicky. What is this nonsense you're talking?"

"It's makes perfect sense, Taya. And I'm sorry I didn't see it before we go so heavy into this, but..I don't love you. Not the way I thought I did. There's no way I can marry you when..I'm in love with someone else."  
>Taya looked stricken, sitting down and pulling Nick down next to her. "It's Jess, isn't it. You actually think you're still in love with her? That was years ago, Nick. Be reasonable."<p>

"I don't think, Taya, I know. And it's not just years ago, it's..it's never stopped. And I know now that nothing and no one will ever change that. Jess is the one, the only one I will ever love. There will never be anyone else for me. I know none of this is fair to you, and I'm sorry. But I'm not leaving LA, and I'm never going to be a lawyer and work in your father's company. And I'm not going to marry you."

Taya stood up quickly, her head held high and haughty, "Well, it looks like you and your unclassed friends have managed to ruin your chances of ever becoming anything more than a low-life bartender. If you're not smart enough to see opportunity when it comes knocking, then I have no use for you, Nicholas Miller. _I'm_ walking away from _you_, got it?" And with that, Taya sauntered off toward the exit, never looking back.

Nick jumped to his feet, eyes wild, "I have to find Jess! Did she go home? She was here earlier, have you seen her?"

Schmidt took out his phone, scanning his text, "Oh man, Nick..."

"What? What, Schmidt?!" He frantically grabbed his lapels, locking in his focus.

"She's gone. She texted CeCe that she was leaving town."

"Leaving? Well where is she going..." he shook Schmidt when he didn't immediatley answer, "Where Schmidt?!"

"Oregon."


	11. Chapter 11

**Sorry this chapter took longer than I intended, it always just seemed to need more tweaking. And the story's not over yet! More chapters coming, and more fun stuff/challenges coming up for the gang. Hope you enjoy, let me know what you think :)**

Jess sat on the floor in the corner of her childhood treehouse, hugging her knees to her chest and playing with a run up the side of her black tights. This had always been her hiding place, her thinking spot. It's the first place she thought of after she hopped a plane headed for her mom's house in Oregon. After leaving Nick at the church, she had felt so devastated, she didn't even go home, didn't even pack. She just got in her car and headed straight for LAX.

She took comfort in the familiar surroundings. Posters of cute kittens and Johnny Depp covered the walls. Crafts and art projects hung from the crude ceiling, every one of them so..._Jess_. She used to spend hours up here with CeCe, talking about boys and what their first kiss would be like. CeCe's version was slightly more R rated, but both still held on to that hope of sweetness and wonder and happily-ever-after.

That idea took an enormous hit after Spencer. Jess had spent six years believing that he was the love of her life and she truly thought she was ready to be married, sooner than later. Well, sooner turned into later...much later, when she was blindsighted by his betrayal. She didn't understand back then what was she was beginning to see now. That all those years after Spencer, she had tried to go back to believing in ever-after again, but could never fully surrender herself to it out of fear of history repeating itself. Paul and Russell were over before they began. Sam was the image of what she wanted, but lacked the heart. He was the closest she had come to commiting herself to someone again. Until Nick.

When Nick literally snatched her up in that hallway all those years ago, her heart was gone right from the start. Since they met, she had felt something different for him than anyone else, something that had firmly attached itself to the deepest part of heart. And after Mexico, that feeling only grew stronger and more sure.

She had told herself that their break up was because she needed someone more stable with less baggage. She never admitted it to Nick, but when they broke up it was more out of fear of losing herself in someone so much that she would never be able to recover again. Nick had become her best friend, and the break up was more of a preemptive strike against losing him from her life. That was something neither one of them was willing to risk.

So, they became_ just friends_. Which was such a strange phrase, because they never had ever been just friends. That was crystal clear to her now. And now that the years had made Nick Miller not only the best friend that she would ever have, but the one true love of her life, she felt that her whole world was collapsing at the thought that she had now lost everything. Because how could she go back to pretending? How could she continue to let Nick believe that there was nothing more than friendship between them? She couldn't.

Sitting on the worn, checkered carpet covering the wooden floor where, all those years ago, she had hoped and wished and dreamed big dreams, she let the silent tears fall, feeling that everything good in her life had slipped away from her, disappearing, as if it had never even existed.

The ladder rattled hard and Jess jumped. _Someone was coming up_. Jess sighed wiping her cheeks with the back of her hand, "Mom, I told you I need some time alone. Please just go!"

"Jess? Jess...agh, dammmit! How'd you get up this thing, the rungs are cracking!" Nick's head appeared through the opening in the floor, his hands clawing at the rope handles at the top, yanking his body up and crashing down onto the floor, gasping for air.

"Nick, what are you doing here?!" Jess leaned over him and grabbed his hand, helping him to sit up against the wall next to her, panic and fear coursing through her body.

"How in the hell did you get up here, Jess? That ladder's not sturdy enough to hold a kindergartener!" Nick hollered at her, adrenaline coursing through him, almost forgetting why he came.

"It's perfectly safe Nick! My dad built this for me when I was nine, and I got up here just fine, thank you very much." Excitement shot through her body, that familiar tension spiking between them.

"Well I think I almost just died getting up here, my entire life just flashed before my eyes, and there were more scenes with Schmidt than anyone else, oddly."

"Look Nick, nobody told you to try and _risk your life _by coming here, okay?" Jess' body trembled, his anger igniting hers as usual, getting her all wound up. And terrified. And hot.

"Well, what if I wanted to, huh? What if you ran out of my wedding rehearsal after you said you'd stay? And what if I just needed to see you?" Nick's voice rose with each _what-if_.

Jess leaned back against the wall and sighed, defeat washing over her. Wasn't it bad enough that she was losing him? Wasn't it hard enough to see him marry someone else and see him slip away from her? Now he had to come and torture her, getting her all hot and bothered while firmly reminding her that all the years they spent together were coming to a swift, painful end. "Nick, I don't need this right now. Can't you see that?" She closed her eyes, fighting tears that she refused to let fall in front of him here, now. "Why are you here, Nick?"

Nick rested his head back and caught his breath for a moment, trying to calm his raw emotions that had somehow all spilled out in an uncontrollable fire the second he saw her again, the moment his body was in her vicinity. That's all it ever took for him to be caught under her spell. And he knew how absolutely cheesy those words sounded as they spun in his brain, _under her spell_, but that didn't make them any less true. She had a power over him that he couldn't explain.

Nick snapped out of it and quickly scooted over in front of her, taking her hands in his. He wanted to face her, wanted to be clear, to leave her without any doubt. Her hands were ice cold and he rubbed them firmly with his hands, taking a deep breath before diving in, "Because you're my best friend. And I care about you." He spoke gently, pausing a beat before a releasing a slow grin, "Also, I love you."

Jess considered him carefully, letting out a long, shaky breath, tired and worn out with the crazy range of emotions she had been through in the last week. She spoke matter of factly, somehow holding on to one last shred of self control, "You love me. I know Nick, I know you love me. I love you too, you know that, but I don't see what that has to do with..."

Nick shook his head, interrupting, "No, you don't get it. I _love you_, Jess. I'm in love with you. And I have been in love with you for eight years. Us breaking up didn't change that. The last five years didn't change it either."

Jess searched his eyes, wanting so badly to hope but not quite ready to just yet, "Nick I don't understand..."  
>Nick smiled and linked his fingers with hers, "I know you don't. And that's my fault. Before we got together I...I had never in my life wanted anything as much as I wanted you, Jess. And then it happened. I had you, I finally had you. And I wanted to make you happy, but...you weren't. And I didn't know how to make you happy, how to give you what you needed. So I went along with the break up, but it was never what I wanted."<p>

Jess covered her reddened cheeks with her fingers, subconsciouly trying to hide the telltale red splotches from him, even though he didn't seem to notice. "Nick, why are you saying this to me now, when you're supposed to be getting married tomorrow, how are you here right now..."

Nick interrupted her, "The wedding is off Jess. I told Taya after you left that I couldn't marry her. All of these years, Jess, all you ever had to do was say the word, and I would've jumped at the chance to be with you again. But I didn't think that was what you wanted. And I guess...I guess _I_ needed time to grow up a little bit, and you probably don't realize this, but you being there for me, being my friend, it made me want to be a better man. Do I think I'm all that you need right now, no. Will I ever be good enough for you..._hell no_. But I know one thing..."

Nick leaned close and hooked a finger under her chin, pullling her gaze up to lock onto his, "I can't imagine one second of my life without you in it." Nick softly touched his lips to hers, lingered a moment, then pulled away. He pulled a blue velvet box from his pocket and held it between them, opening it and setting it gently in her hand.

"Nick..." her voice broke, unsure of what to say, not sure that any of this was really happening. Her hand shook as she lightly gripped the soft velvet, a modest sized sapphire caught the light from the lightbulb hanging over her head. "Nick, where did you get this? When?"

"My mom gave it to me when we were in Chicago for Jamie's wedding. It used to belong to my great grandmother. My mom told me it was for you. I told her what we always tell people, we're just friends now, there's nothing like that between us anymore, blah blah. She said that didn't matter, that she was sure, even though I wasn't yet. Told me to take it and hold onto it until I was. I never dreamed I would ever actually be able to give it to you. Now I know why I kept it hidden away..it was always meant for you."

Jess was speechless as she looked from the ring to Nick, the light in his eyes something she hadn't seen in years. Not since the day he stood in his bedroom and told her she had lifted the fog from his life.

"Jessica...you are all that I have ever wanted. You are not only my best friend, but the reason I get out of bed in the morning, and breathe in and out all day. You're the one I want to spend all day with shopping at the mall for shoes you don't need. I want you to embarrass me in the produce department by singing about what kind of fruit you're gonna force me to eat later. You're the one I want to take care of after you freak out at the dentist from the nitrous, and the one I want to carry home from the bar when you've had too much to drink."

Jess searched his eyes, letting everything he was promising her begin to wake her up inside.

"You drive me absolutely crazy sometimes, so mad I want to scream my head off and so full of _want_, to drag you to bed and make you pay." He grinned as her face blushed bright pink, desire sparking to life in her eyes.

"You make me want to..._try,_ even if I don't always get there. I don't want to waste another second, Jess. I want to marry you. I want to be your husband, and I want you to be my wife. I want to have kids with you and a home and a life with you. We both have semi-stable lives, we're older. Maybe we weren't ready before, but..we can do this now, Jess."

Everything within her told her to believe him, to trust what he was saying to her. This was not just a memory of something from long ago, not just a rerun of a dream that she replayed over and over in her head. Nick leaned forward and pressed his forehead against hers, waiting, hoping.

Jess closed her eyes at the feeling of him so close, her breath shallow, "Nick...I want all those things too, sooo much, but...I'm scared."

Nick smiled and whispered back, "I know. I'm scared to. But it's different this time, Jess. This time we're ready. This time...it's gonna be forever."

Tears streamed down Jess' face and she laughed softly. Nick laughed back, rarely seen tears spilling out to match hers. "Jessica Day, will you marry me?"

Jess moved closer, her lips barely touching his, and every doubt fled as she whispered straight from her heart, "Yes."

Nick captured her lips immediately after she spoke, his arms circling her, pulling her to her knees, pulling her as close as possible. Relief flooded him as he felt her body responding, her arms clutching his neck, sliding up into his hair. He kissed her like he had never kissed her before, like her never believed he would ever get to again, abandoning all the fear that had plagued him since they first met. This is what he had been waiting for.

Nick felt Jess trembling and pulled back, looking down at her body for the first time that night, "You're shivering, are you cold...um, Jessica...what the hell are you wearing?"

Jess squeezed one eye shut, answering lowly, "Uh, my prom dress."

Nick gave her a long, thorough look, her bright pink polyester dress hung down to her knees in billowy ruffles, the puffed sleeves peeking out the arms of her Extra-Small red Punky Brewster tshirt that she had squeezed down over the top. "And, uh, exactly _why_ are you wearing that, Jess?"

Jess feigned anger, putting a hand on her hip, "Because, Nicholas, I didn't pack before I came, so it was this or my twelve-year-old frankfurter-on-a-bun Halloween costume from the attic."

Nick laughed, and it sounded so lighthearted, in a way that she had never heard from him before. "Okay, dress. We're definitely going with the dress."

He gathered her close again rubbing his hands up and down her bare arms before moving his mouth to kiss her cheek soundly. He kissed her cheek again, slower this time, before beginning a trail of kisses up toward her ear, brushing his lips against it. "So, Jess..there's this _social thing_ I got going on in, oh, about a month or two."

"Yeah?"

"Well, if you're not too busy, you think you could go with me?"

"Hmm, well that all depends. My best friend's getting married, and I wouldn't miss that for anything."

Nick dropped his head, shaking it in mock disappointment. "Really? Damn." He breathed out slowly before looking up at her again, a spark of mischief in his eyes, "So, this wedding thing you got..you think I could come with?"

~N/J~

Nick laid next to Jess under her pink and yellow flowered quilt in her childhood bed. It was a twin bed, so there was barely enough room for both of them. But Nick wasn't complaining. He was exactly where he wanted to be.

After Nick had cheated death, or well, a broken arm or leg, by climbing back down out of Jess' treehouse, they had met Joan in her French country kitchen and gave her the surprise of her life when Jess showed off her blue sapphire engagment ring. Joan had screamed and squealed and jumped up and down before gathering them into an enthusiastic group hugball. She had insisted Nick stay the night with Jess in her room. "You're getting married! And I'm no prude. If you two so happen to do something tonight to make me into a grandmother, well I would support that 100%."

Nick had let out an uneasy laugh, rubbing his neck as she assured her mom that they had not discussed kids yet. Jess caught Nick's eye and blushed when he gave her a quick wink.

Now, laying squished up close to him in her soft, warm bed, she felt relaxed enough to sleep, but she didn't want to. It was getting late and the day was finally ending, but she and Nick, they were just beginning.

She felt like a kid on Christmas Eve, too excited about the prospect of tomorrow to let her tired body drift off. She knew Nick was still awake too. If it wasn't for his hand running gently up and down her back, his slightly more labored breathing would've given it away.

Nick shifted a little so he could move his lips to her cheek, her ear, her neck, careful not to let things get too out of control. Jess sighed contentedly, savoring the feel of his lips brushing the sensitive skin of her collarbone. Suddenly he dropped his head to her shoulder, clinging to her, settling into an increasingly passionate embrace. Jess rested her cheek against temple and whispered a warning, "Nick..."

"I know, I know. We can't." He paused for a moment, "Uh, why can't we again?"

"Because we are in the bed I spent all my kid years sleeping in, and I just can't do...that...here. Plus my mom's bedroom is right next door and the walls are paper thin in this house. You are not quiet in bed, and she would hear _everything_."

Nick chucked softly, "Oh really? Cuz I seem to remember in the loft, Winston banging on the wall almost every night, _For heaven's sake, Nick, just _'give her the goods' _already_!"

Jess smacked his arm and giggled, "Well, that was a long time ago. And I don't want our first time in five years to be weird or..quiet." Jess slid a leg between his, linking her ankle around his knee. "Plus..it's been a long time for me. Maybe I'm not, you know, as good as you remember."

Nick turned on his side and moved closer, focusing on her bright blue eyes in the darkened room. "You, Miss Day, were amazing. You always were. Ain't never gonna forget that. And also," Nick slid his hand down her lower back and kept going until his palm rested lightly on her ass cheek, "I remember what you like."

Jess smiled widely and squirmed against his touch, "Nick! Come on. You promised."

Nick moved his hand back up to her back, sighing "I know. You're right. I'll be good."

Jess snuggled in closer, the warmth radiating off Nick's body making her want to change her mind about waiting. Even though it had been a long time, it felt so familiar, so natural to be with him like this. The urge to pull his body onto hers and let him have his way was strong, but she resisted, wanting the first time that he touched her again to be special, and unhurried.

Jess relaxed into him, "I can't believe this is real."

Nick laughed sofly and kissed her cheek before tucking her hand inside his, and letting it rest against his chest, "This is real, Jess."

As she began to drift off, she whispered sleepily, "Nick..don't let go."

He pulled her closer and pressed a chaste kiss to her forehead. "I'm never letting go."


End file.
